Saturday, November 1, 2014
Thanksgiving Comes Early
What a magic weekend, enchanted, and wonderful. A weekend that brings so much joy to so many, so much pleasure to a tired nation. This is the weekend the gods of chronology give us an extra hour sleep. This is the weekend when you can wake up, look at the clock, and think, "no, it is not 8:00 it is only 7:00 and I can sleep another hour."
Oh sure, the sadistic, heartless members of the irresponsible press will tell you to turn your clocks ahead before you go to bed tonight, but that is only a government generated, corporate approved, mandate designed to fuel the oppression, and control of the masses, keeping the population compliant, imprisoned, and toiling in anonymous, thankless labor, feeding the giant profits that our elected representatives, and their owners, big business, have come to enjoy. But, we here #LifeExplained™, are here to help set our brothers and sister, and moms, dads, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews free.
Before you go to bed tonight ignore your clocks, walk past them without a second thought, without a glance. Think of your clock as your job responsibilities and ignore them completely, thinking "oh, I will take care of that tomorrow." Maybe even have an extra bourbon, or scotch, beer, wine, of soft drink, and some more popcorn, nachos, or wings, and live life in complete gluttony, and complete disregard for all of the advice and concern of your doctor, and loved ones. Why not, you will get an Extra Hour Of Sleep. And sleep is the ultimate remedy.
Here, I would be remiss if I neglected to point out that our poor friends in Indiana don't get this fantastic gift. They have the same, dull, monotonous time all year long, going from day to day, never ending, robot like automatons. Always under the thumb of "the man," doing all of that stuff that Indiana natives are famous for, whatever that is. It is time Indianan… Indianian, Indianaiananian… Indiana natives, whatever you are called, it is time to rise up and demand an extra hour of sleep, it is your right.
So, tonight indulge, over indulge, and then have a little more. It is the night of extravagance, it is the night of rewarding yourself for all of those mornings where the clock was in charge, where the clock was the master. Tomorrow you have the upper hand, (at least for an hour) and that doesn't happen very often.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.