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Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Space, it belongs to everybody, get some now.

Astronaut Scott Kelly, who is not married to a congress woman, which is shocking, the resemblance is remarkable, they could be brothers...  Wait, this just in, astronauts Scott Kelly, and Mark Kelly (husband of a retired congress woman) are brothers.  Back to the news.  Astronaut Scott Kelly is preparing to spend a year in space.

It has been quite a while since Americans have had the opportunity to feel any sense of accomplishment in space exploration.

We watched with wonder, and amazement when the European Space Agency landed a washing machine sized probe on a comet.  We applauded the feat with the rest of the world, all while thinking, "that could have been our home appliance."

We thanked Sir Richard Branson for having the entrepreneurial spirit, fortitude, and ingenuity to launch the first commercial, privately owned space tourism business.  Knowing full well, "we could be gouging rich people for a few minutes in low space orbit."

Now, though, thanks to NASA, Scott Kelly, American grit, sticktoitivness, bulldog like tenacity, and what can only be considered an ingenious end run around a gridlocked, bickering, tantrum throwing, responsibility ignoring, finger pointing assembly of elected officials, we finally have something to say, "space, we'll take a little, thank you," about.

It really got the guys, and girls, scientists, and engineers, here at Life Explained excited.  It was time to dust off the old "potential space experiments" file and see what they (our government, and its space agency) could do to help us help you, and everybody else, of course.  We like you, and all, but that is a lot of time and money, too much for one person, even you.

Unfortunately, we found out that not everybody shares our zeal for research and development.  According to a NASA spokesperson "our scientists disagree with your conclusions about the greatly reduced cooking time for rising crust crust pizza in zero gravity.  Further, they feel that the crust rises sufficiently for any pizza enthusiast in Earth's atmosphere.  To complicate matters, there is not room for pizza oven and stone in the small craft used to shuttle Astronaut Kelly to the International Space Station.  If you would like to attempt your experiment in the depths of the ocean we would be happy to put you in contact with the NOAA.  Thank you, for your interest."

Dang it!  We pay taxes.  We have rights.  That is what happens when you put a bunch of old people in charge of anything.  Nothing ever gets done.

We have decided to develop a space station of our own.  It should be pretty easy, all of the technology has been developed, we feel this was probably the most difficult, expensive part.  Now we just need to adapt to fit our budget.  Cargo containers are going for a song.

If you would like to get in on the ground floor of this exciting venture, and possibly become an astronaut yourself, don't delay.  Send a donation to "Life Explained, Explains Space Travel." today.  The biggest donator gets "shotgun."