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Friday, May 15, 2015

A long overdue security upgrade here at Life Explained.

We here, at Life Explained, are huge, positively huge, fans of technology.  We use Apple stuff, Google stuff, Microsoft stuff, we even looked for some Linux, but they seemed to be completely out at the local gigantic Electronics Stupendous Shop.  We looked all over the place, and couldn't find any boxed Linux.  Or an employee to ask for help.  It is not the best place to buy equipment, but you can get a new movie and a 10 pound (4.53 kilogram) box of chocolate covered raisins, a 2 liter (8.45 cups) bottle of soda, and a couple of packages of Fruit by the Foot ($450.00 dentist bill), while you are picking up a new cell phone, laptop, or microwave.  We love that place.

Obviously, we are huge fans of technology (and snacking, and movies).  So, when we saw the outrageous monthly fee charged for monitoring the security system we jumped into the fray, and came up with a much less expensive, more elegant solution.

We took the panel the thieves former security company had installed and wired it to a dedicated computer.  After running an artificial intelligence routine with a variable to account for human interaction, with the ability to choose between several options we programmed all of the "personality" traits of each employee, past and present into the software.

We felt this would help the computer decide on the best action after carefully weighing all of the alternatives.  We don't want a heartless killing machine watching over the building.  Power requires discretion and choosing when to use force is not to be taken lightly.

This morning we went live.  Here is the video.

We might have to remove some of the "human," out of the algorithm and install a little more "machine."  Still we are saving a bundle on fees every month.  Most of us feel fairly secure, and we have some donuts, somewhere, in the building.