Over the weekend we, here at Life Explained, had an epiphany. It was brought about the by the gross injustice foisted upon the average citizen. It seems that writer +Adele Archer (hereafter referred to as our client) is not allowed to participate in the Wimbledon Tennis Championship. This decision was based solely on the fact that our client never took the time to learn to play tennis. Forgive us if our voice trembles slightly with outrage.
Our crack legal team was so filled with anger they worked around the clock. Finally, churning out an 800 page brief. It was a 200,000 word work of art, conveying the outrage, and indignity suffered since the dawn of organized sports. Covering the terrible victimization of kids who always got picked last for the kick ball team, young men humiliated by their inability to hit a softball, bowlers who could never crack 100, and golfers who could never crack 100 going the other direction.
It addressed the income inequality of the "super athletes" making presidential campaign money, and the average guy busting his hump carrying rocks from one end of the quarry to the other. Sure, being born with an ungodly amount of talent, and working tirelessly to develop the skills should count for something, but this has gone too far.
We demanded justice, our client should be allowed to participate at Wimbledon, if that is her wish. Kids who can't dribble, make a lay-up or turn around without falling over should not be excluded from the fame and riches of the NBA, if that is their dream. Skating should not be a requirement to play in the NHL. Too long have people longed for stardom and riches in this tilted, slanted unfair world.
Unfortunately, the judge said 800 pages, and 200,000 words was too long, and not really brief at all. If we wanted him to consider the case we should make it "a little more brief and a lot less lengthy."
Back to the drawing board. But, our indignation has not wavered, nor has our desire for a little of the gold handed out so easily by the managing entities of professional sports. Nothing a pair of scissors can't fix.
Monday, July 13, 2015
A new day, and a new chance for a little money
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.