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Wednesday, July 29, 2015

We Have the Answer.

A man climbed over the barricade at the Columbus Zoo. He walked across the space between the fence, and the cougar exhibit, and petted the cougars. Really he just stuck his fingers through the fence, and kind of scratched the cougars behind the ears.

He captured his exploits on film, on a GoPro camera. He was kind enough to post it online, for the world to enjoy. And they have, particularly the Zoo and the Sheriffs office. And they have decided to press charges.

Cougars are the 4th largest feline class. Standing up to 35 inches tall at the shoulder, they can weigh up to 90 pounds.  Petting them is not really all that smart. But, pet them he did. And, for the most part, watching the video they seemed to enjoy the attention. In fact, they acted like a house cat, sticking their ears out for a little attention.


Today, while being interviewed he said, "here's my thing, if safety is there number one concern then they need to do something about the exhibit." And that sums it up, doesn't it? Right there, we have the answer.

If they wanted him to stay away from the cougars, they should have done more than just put up a fence. They should have put up a wall, an impenetrable, solid barrier, armed with a Ninja, carrying a machine gun. And posted a sign, "Please Do Not Pet the Ninja."

We need to make this world safe for people who don't recognize the sanctity of barriers, and foolishness of petting wild animals. 

We here, at Life Explained, are in the process of insuring the safety of citizens the world over. We are training animals to use firearms. Certainly nobody would be stupid enough to approach a grizzly bear packing heat (no matter how cold it was). Probably.