We, here at Life Explained, have been guilty of trying all sorts of bizarre things. We were the first to try aging whiskey in space. The whiskey never made it back, and that space capsule had several dents, and needed a thorough cleaning, thank goodness we only sent 4 bottles. We tried cloning a sheep, and ended up with Scotland declaring war on Ireland (that took a while to straighten out). Obviously, we are no stranger to unique experimentation. But. the McWhopper, that is going too far.
Burger King and McDonald's are bitter enemies, and any collaboration between them would be an abomination. It would be similar to ordering a big plate of gasoline and a cup of fire. Nobody would do that. They don't mix.
In most neighborhoods with both franchises the police have to increase security patrols to keep the counter people from hijacking the customers trying to enter the opponents building. They have actually been known to exchange small arms fire between peak times. There are even rumors of mortar fire, with the potential for bigger artillery pieces, but only for the most profitable franchises.
One night, as I was driving home the Burger King and Ronald McDonald were actually fighting in the parking lot of Taco Bell, whose spokesperson at the time was a small Chihuahua dog. Poor little dog could do nothing except yap incessantly at the clowns rolling around on the pavement. Fortunately Colonel Sanders had an squad of infantry men in the area, who managed to break it up, before either were seriously injured.
Many historians believe the feud goes back to ancient times, when both were plying their wares in carts around Pre-Christian Rome. It was the origin of gladiatorial games, the king and the clown would fight to the death outside the coliseum. People stood and cheered, nobody went inside to see the show. Everybody enjoyed it so much they institutionalized the battle, and added lions. It was quite a scene, I wasn't there mind you, but I have read a little.
Now they might work together, this is biblical, end of days stuff here, my friends. We need to take a stand, "Say No To The McWhopper!" Unless they use pepperjack cheese and maybe throw on an onion ring that would be great, and they have to ditch the secret sauce, then maybe we can talk. Hey, is it lunchtime yet?
Thursday, August 27, 2015
McWhopper, McNo McWay. McMaybe
Labels: ancient feud, artillery, Burger King, end of days, lunch time, McDonalds, McWhopper, mortar fire, Rome, Taco Bell
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.