It is Sunday, late summer, and the air is cool and comfortable, sometimes a little too cool to be comfortable, still it feels like summer is gone. Summer is great, everybody loves summer, all of the sun, and swimming, but it can really wear out its welcome. Ninety degree heat and ninety percent humidity can create drag, friction. If it weren't for all of the sweat there would be a lot of people bursting into flames. Sweat is a wonderful evolutionary device.
Evolution has given us quite a bit. It has taken us from our early days of roaming from place to place, digging in the dirt for roots, chasing down animals, hunting and gathering, to a civilized world filled with soaking wet, sweaty people who are chasing down bargain meat, and vegetables in Mega Stores. Fighting over the last 3 pound package of reduced price ground chuck, as you watch helplessly from the back of the crowd, thinking "I wish those people would burst into flames, and I could grab that package of delicious hamburger, and feed my family."
But, they won't. Because evolution has provided us the means, at great expense to keep these gigantic, cavernous buildings cool and comfortable. And filled with wonderful food products that will sustain our families for the long week ahead, even during football season.
Football season dramatically increases the caloric intake of the average American family. Evolution has given us the intelligence to watch our favorite teams play, no matter where the game is, right from the comfort of our living room. There is so much yelling and screaming and gnashing of teeth, that it requires a dramatic increase in sustenance. Mostly beer, chips, and pizza.
It takes a lot of food and drink to watch, big sweaty men play a game. Watching with hope, against all common sense, really burns calories. It really takes energy to watch a dream die right on television. How often have we wished that the speedy running back streaking down the sideline, (as our team's defense watches helplessly with no chance of catching him) would burst into flames, the ball bouncing to our team, and saving us the humiliation of one more score in a lop sided loss? But, evolution has saved the speedy, impossibly muscled young man safe from spontaneous combustion.
In short, evolution is mixed blessing, particularly during football season. Tune in next week when we discuss Survivor for football officials, (vote the blind one off the island) an idea whose time has come.
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Football, evolution and the curse of the modern world
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.