Things are going pretty well, here at Life Explained. We have several new offices scattered around the globe. Plus, we have started new research into the cause of voter apathy, turns out it is politicians, and pointless pieces of legislature, go figure. Anyway we decided to give the ol' place a face lift.
None of us wanted any of that trendy, glass, polished steel, new age, soulless crap that passes for architecture these days. We wanted something primal, ancient, ominous. We went with the look of Medieval Europe, a slate roof, sweeping, majestic windows, with wrought iron frames, and gargoyles. Those things are so cool.
Actually, nobody really cared about what the rest of the building looked like. You could cover it in tar paper and cardboard, as long as there were some gargoyles watching over from the edge of the rooftop.
We contracted with a company in a historic village in Italy to carve some of the fearsome beasts for our renovation. The artisan explained that the marble used was from an ancient quarry in the Carpathians, steeped in mystery, and intrigue. Wow, this just gets better all the time.
It cost a kings ransom, and shipping was ridiculously expensive. But, when they were mounted on the building ,and the full moon complimented the light shining from underneath, with the shadows, and the wind, and leaves rustling, you would swear they were moving. No, they are moving, holy crap.
Well, I have some important paperwork to take care of inside, in the safe, right now.
Tune in tomorrow, when we ask for a refund, and some sort of spiritual intervention.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Everything Old is New Again, or Leave the Past Alone.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.