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Sunday, December 6, 2015

A Christmas to Remember, until next year.

Oh sure, you think you can quit anytime you want, it is just a social habit. You started small, just giving a few trinkets to friends, and family. Maybe a few small stockings hung with care. Soon, though, you started making cookies, and taking them for co-workers. Then it was fudge, and caramel popcorn, and decorative coffee mugs filled with handmade goodies and lottery tickets.

And now you are hooked, plans are formed as Halloween candy is being purchased. Oh sure the fun sized candy bars are in the basket, but secretly you are planning on Candy Canes, and Eggnog.

Once the pesky trick or treaters have quit you start planning, formulating, scheming. Sure, Thanksgiving is coming, but that is just the opening act of the big play. And this year you are bringing home the Oscar, or Emmy, or Tony or whatever they give for best "Live Production of Christmas Perfection." Because that is what you are pulling off, the perfect Christmas.

People from all over will be talking about the Christmas you are pulling off. That tree is so beautiful it has moved you to tears. And the gifts under it are carefully researched, perfectly appropriate for the recipients. Each is wrapped in coordinated paper, and ribbons, and arranged in a pattern reflecting the golden ratio. Anybody who goes anywhere near them will have to die, horribly.

And Christmas day is choreographed, and meticulously planned right to the very end. It is laid out by the second, from the alarm to the last pitter patter of little feat stumbling tiredly to bed.

Yes, this is going to be the perfect Christmas!  And if you are going to top it next year you had better start now. And it will be spectacular.