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Wednesday, December 2, 2015

An Apology from Your Friends at LENO


Good morning fans of Game Enhancement Technology [GET] from your friends up here at the Life Explained Northeastern Office [LENO]. We have an apology to make to all of our supporters out there in the sports world who have come to depend on us for the best in Creative High-speed Entertainment and Athletic Technology [CHEAT] to make the games that much more exciting. Yes as you have probably seen the Patriots [YAY] lost to the Broncos [BOO] this last Sunday and we only have ourselves to blame. Now of course we are not ones to deflect blame on to others, unless there is profit to be made in it, and this doesn't seem to be one of those times, so we will explain in great detail where our Game Enhancement Technology [GET] failed in GETtheBroncos v1.0.

First we didn't take into account that the Broncos were probably better off without the assistance of the pizza eating, insurance selling robot that we had installed in their offense for the last few years [MANNING]. When we installed the virus into its software [PASSHAPPY 2.1] we had assumed that the chaos that this would have created alone would have been unrecoverable. The cascade failure that usually will take effect when the automaton that runs the offense [OMAHA] breaks down, is usually enough to change an outcome here and there. It appeared that the software engineers from our German subsidiary [VOLKSWAGEN] had finally created the fool proof methodology that was looking like a good old fashioned beat down for more than half the game. Our ego in tried and true Game Enhancement Technology [GET] was our own undoing.

It appears while we were quite happy with the outcome of the match and the enhancements that we had installed we didn't take into account one Dr Dawg, and his ability to sell technology to the enemy. In this case it was one of those hideous Chinese knock off companies that Dr Dawg and the parent company of LENO, aka Life Explained Ohio Office [LEOO] who in cahoots for an undisclosed amount of microwave burritos had stolen and sold GET secrets. This Chinese company [FU KING] managed to get a small sampling of GET software into a little known and of course unprotected wide receiver who then was driven down by a virus of their own [MUFFTHEPUNT] and the rest is history. We were beaten by our own game and we will need to work harder to protect our technology before we unveil GETtheEagles v1.1 this weekend.

Again we apologize for this temporary setback in the world of Creative High-speed Entertainment and Athletic Technology [CHEAT] and we will do a far superior job in the future.We hired a man named Bingo Bob from San Antonio to guard the locations of the new key codes, as soon as he gets back from an accident that involved a bunch of widescreen televisions. In the mean time if you see a black and grey dog wandering around the Ohio area with a sack full of crappy Chinese burritos avoid him at all costs. He's an evil genius after all.