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Wednesday, January 6, 2016

2016 The Predictions, Not for the squeamish.

We, here at Life Explained, Central Ohio (LEHELLNO) would like to offer a short apology. This post is a little later than we would have liked. Since this is the 2016 prediction issue, (bought to you by Ted's Classic Cuts in Gahanna Ohio, where they cut hair) we wanted to get this out a little earlier. Unfortunately time travel is a tricky thing, and three people who went into the future to see what happened were never heard from again.

Thank goodness we were smart enough not to tell anybody about this or volunteers might have been a little scarce. Finally the 4th person we sent, Bob from IT, finally managed to send a text.  It was not very informative, but it was enough.

We managed to access his Go Pro and stream some video, and while it was not promising there were a few bright spots. We should tell everybody what to expect. Out of respect for Bob, and the other three guys, whose names escape me for the moment.

The year will start with market instability as the world wrestles with turmoil, terrorism, floods, mudslides, and unusual weather patterns.

February brings good news, as Apple, Google, and Microsoft finally quit swinging their purses at each other. Working together they manage to make a series of devices that will share music, photos, data, voice, and video seamlessly. And each carries the capacity to be a wifi transmitter. Peace reigns as the world watches cut cat videos, and reads hilarious memes.

Sadly it is short lived. March brings our first encounter with an alien life form. Terror, and panic take possession of humanity, and people begin to lose hope. Fortunately, the aliens are just traveling around the universe selling magazine subscriptions, so they pose no real threat, and nobody subscribes to any magazines.

Unfortunately, the appearance of an alien life form causes political and religious upheaval on a catastrophic scale.

People start breaking into small, heavily armed groups, battling for supremacy. The world is plunged into chaos, as fighting intensifies everywhere. Disease, famine, starvation become the norm as people struggle to cope with the existence of an alien life form.

After that the video begins to break up, and all we can hear is the sound of cursing, and screaming. It might have to do with March Madness, and the national championship in basketball. We aren't sure. As soon as we know we will pass it along.

Anyway, have a nice month, or two, and stock up on bottled water and canned vegetables they will be like gold soon.