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Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Oops, we are sorry.

We, here at Life Explained, The Central US officeS (LETSCUSS (damnit)) have been hearing a lot of rumbling through back channels. Unofficial airwaves have been cluttered with rumors of a giant, secret, corporation running everything in the world.

Rumor has it this organization is manipulating energy, and food supplies, and prices, artificially inflating, and depressing certain stocks, altering the flow of capital, aid and material. All to achieve unknowable ends, and hidden goals.

People are being used daily, without their knowledge, allegedly, as the company they work for are responding to fictitious, and completely inaccurate market fluctuations, and forces, according to the unconfirmed reports. It has all the potential to be disastrous, in theory.

Embarrassingly enough, it turns out it was us. Please accept our humble apologies.

We have been running an AI (Artificial Intelligence) algorithm (math thing) to find the best deals on microwave food, specifically frozen burritos, and wine (delicious drink that goes well with frozen burritos).

A reenactment, not a real protestor
Unfortunately, when it can't find any deals within the target price range it begins altering reality, by inventing an artificial, on paper demand. This causes the producers of frozen burritos to ratchet up production. When they find the demand has mysteriously disappeared they are stuck with a surplus of product, forcing them to reduce the price. Same with wine.

Any action has a reaction, and prices and labor has fluctuated drastically in response.

We are sorry if this has caused any of any problem, please forgive us. We have shut off the routine that ran the program.  And if you are one of the picketers out in front, please come in and we can talk about it. Over a tasty microwaved burrito, and a glass of wine, on us.