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Sunday, February 21, 2016

Monday is coming, you can handle it.

Monday is coming, a treasure of agony and pain. But, we need to face it with a unified front. Stand fast against the tyranny of the work week. Don't show weakness, Monday senses fear. 

Here is the plan, just get up when the alarm goes off, you can hit the snooze button once, make every effort to not hit it twice. Whatever you do, don't smash your alarm clock with a hammer. This is particularly true if you use your smart phone to wake you. Monday will only grow stronger watching you weep openly over the loss of a beloved electronic member of the family.

Drink your coffee with a smile. If possible drink it without cream and sugar, you don't need the extra calories to slow you down. Mobility is the key. If Monday gets you trapped in a corner, and starts hammering away at your soft, creamy, sugar filled mid section... well lets just say you don't know what will happen then.

Hop in your car, listen to something that will make you forget your troubles. Maybe some music, it might be a good idea to make a playlist tonight. Or pick a pod cast. Something that will take your mind off driving and the driving of others, something immersive, and consuming. Well, not completely off driving, you still need to pay attention to where you are going. Once, while listening to Time Out Of Mind by Dylan I drove past my exit, past the city limits, and ended up in Dayton. Thank goodness Highlands isn't any longer or I might have ended up in Indianapolis. Oh, Monday would have loved that.

Then at work, smile politely, nod appropriately, and do as little as possible. Activity is the breeding ground for mistakes. A miscue is almost impossible taking a nap in the boiler room, on the boxes of furnace filters stacked behind the lift apparatus, all toasty, warm, and comfortable.* Monday thrives on typos, errors, and malfunctions. Don't feed the beast.

Monday is coming, there is nothing we can do about it. But, preparation is key. There is no reason you should not be ready, Monday is brazen, it doesn't even try to hide its arrival, taunting you with the coming torment. But, you can be ready, we will help.

*Not that I would know anything about that.