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Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Reserve your spot now, or risk the ridicule.

Lately, we here at Life explained division of Space and Time (LOST) have been trying to find a way to make interstellar space travel a reality. There is some serious cash to be made renting vacation properties on distant worlds, orbiting alien stars, with unique extraterrestrial cuisine. And we like money.

Traveling at light speed is really the only way to make this work. Which is proving somewhat difficult. Not just mechanically, either. But, we will not quit until you are eating microwave food in another galaxy.

Yes, light is very quick, but it is also very light, which makes being fast a lot easier. But, it is not only the weight issue. Einsteins Laws of Relativity prove the speed of light (186,000 miles per second, or 300,000 kilometers a second, or 86 degrees Celsius) is constant and independent of other factors.

Essentially, if you were to take your lamp outside, and turn it on the light would zoom away from you at, well, the speed of light, (186,000 miles a second, 147 kilograms). But, Einstein proved if you were to block off the street, and make sure there was no traffic, and turn on the light, and start running at 186,000 miles a second the minute you flipped the switch light would still move away from you at 186,000 miles a second.

What does this prove? Well, light does not want to be around you, no matter what you do. It isn't you though, it is light. But, more importantly it proves that traveling at the speed of light is going to take a very long street, with the cooperation of a lot of commuters. By the way, that is why I was late this morning, some guy trying to catch up with light, man did he look silly.

Anyway, we are continuing our quest to overcome every obstacle, every roadblock, in the journey to conquer the universe, well not really conquer, more like exploit, well that isn't really right, either, more, well not colonize, as much as... Oh it doesn't matter.

Just start saving some dough, because these vacation packages are going to go quick, and everybody will make fun of you if you don't get one.