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Thursday, March 10, 2016

Does everything have to be so hard?

There are many things I do well, at least well enough to keep me employed, married, and out of jail. Certainly nobody ever accused me of being excessively smart. And if a person who knows me were asked "what are his strengths, the things at which he excels?" They would be hard pressed to pick anything. Everything in moderation, right? And, I am moderately talented at certain things. "Wow, that Tim really does a somewhat passable job." Music to my ears.

Other things trouble me. Some of them are simple things, things that everybody understands, and can pull off without thought. Right and left. I know the difference, but if I don't stop and think about it I will almost always choose the wrong one.

When we first got married it caused a lot of problems. My wife would be driving and I would say "turn right. No, turn right, right, dammit."

"I am turning right."

"Left, left, turn left!" I would yell. Too late, though, the opportunity had passed. And we would have to backtrack. Eventually we got where we were headed. In my own defense we saw some cool things, and had some fun, after we weren't angry anymore. She has taken to verifying directions by holding up her right or left hand for confirmation. It does relieve a lot of stress, but it is not as much fun.

At some point, some fool, somewhere decided to label earbuds right and left. Even when they were identical. Why? I remembered, when I was young, hearing stories about people playing Led Zeppelin music backward (I think it was Led Zeppelin IV, the one with Stairway to Heaven) and hearing the voice of Satan. Maybe that would happen if you listened to music with earbuds in the wrong ear. I wasn't taking any chances. I would always think which hand do I write with(I am right handed)? That would help me stay safe. Thank God I learned to write.

Recently my wife, who has an odd, malicious sense of humor, bought me some socks to wear to the gym. I like socks that are snug, my feet are as old as the rest of me, and we all need all the support we can get. But, they are labeled left and right, more specifically L and R which probable stands for Left and Right.

When I change to go to the gym I like to use the time to start stretching. I put my back to the wall and lower myself as far as I can, like I'm sitting, and put one knee over the other, and push down, it really helps. But, then my left foot is actually on the right side of my body, but still the left foot, and soon I am thinking what is the worst thing that can happen? Sprained ankles, broken toes, and Plantar Fasciitis come to mind, and I stop and think "left or right, it is left, I know it." Which puts all of the pressure back on me. Why?

All of this leads to the question "Why? Isn't life complicated enough?" I guess it leads to two questions, though it could have been one, "Why, isn't life complicated enough?" Do we really need to add another layer of complexity? Somebody, somewhere is thinking, "no, probably not." I just hope it isn't too late.