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Thursday, May 5, 2016

Life Explained, on Vacation.

After his little accident yesterday Doctor Dawg has decided to take a brief vacation. Since we are kind of slow right now anyway it seemed like a good time for all of us to take a little break. Everybody has been laboring under disastrously tight, almost impossible deadlines. Tempers were short, and small differences of opinion were exploding into disastrous conflicts.

Last week the executive spokesperson actually pulled a box cutter out of her Versace scarf and threatened to "peel the flesh off your worthless corpse" when she found out the treasurer's assistant had taken the last cheese danish. Sensing the potential peril the treasurers assistant picked up a chair and used it as a shield while she poured a coffee. Since it was the last cup she made a fresh pot, still holding the chair in a defensive position, The two started circling the kitchen slowly, sipping fresh hot coffee, and staring hatefully at each other.

Security was summoned and took the box cutter, the chair and several cups of coffee, and some blueberry bagels with several small tubs of cream cheese. Both employees received disciplinary notes in their files, and we added a new paragraph to the employee manual involving the consumption of cheese danish and threatening to flay your coworkers. Oddly enough this had never come up before, and nobody really had the foresight to anticipate the exchange.

But, the executive council decided to give everybody a weeks paid leave, a fresh cheese danish, hot coffee, and a CD on patience, harmony, and peaceful coexistence.

But, Doctor Dawg is having a blast in the Mediterranean, He is learning to scuba dive, and ride a motor scooter. So, if things seem a little less productive in the US, things not getting done, computers running a little slow, cable television fading in and out a little bit, lines at gas stations, and grocery stores, utility bills climbing, traffic tie ups getting worse, we are sorry. Next week we will be back to take care of things. Maybe you should take a week off too.