After his little accident yesterday Doctor Dawg has decided to take a brief vacation. Since we are kind of slow right now anyway it seemed like a good time for all of us to take a little break. Everybody has been laboring under disastrously tight, almost impossible deadlines. Tempers were short, and small differences of opinion were exploding into disastrous conflicts.
Last week the executive spokesperson actually pulled a box cutter out of her Versace scarf and threatened to "peel the flesh off your worthless corpse" when she found out the treasurer's assistant had taken the last cheese danish. Sensing the potential peril the treasurers assistant picked up a chair and used it as a shield while she poured a coffee. Since it was the last cup she made a fresh pot, still holding the chair in a defensive position, The two started circling the kitchen slowly, sipping fresh hot coffee, and staring hatefully at each other.
Security was summoned and took the box cutter, the chair and several cups of coffee, and some blueberry bagels with several small tubs of cream cheese. Both employees received disciplinary notes in their files, and we added a new paragraph to the employee manual involving the consumption of cheese danish and threatening to flay your coworkers. Oddly enough this had never come up before, and nobody really had the foresight to anticipate the exchange.
But, the executive council decided to give everybody a weeks paid leave, a fresh cheese danish, hot coffee, and a CD on patience, harmony, and peaceful coexistence.
But, Doctor Dawg is having a blast in the Mediterranean, He is learning to scuba dive, and ride a motor scooter. So, if things seem a little less productive in the US, things not getting done, computers running a little slow, cable television fading in and out a little bit, lines at gas stations, and grocery stores, utility bills climbing, traffic tie ups getting worse, we are sorry. Next week we will be back to take care of things. Maybe you should take a week off too.
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Life Explained, on Vacation.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.