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Sunday, May 15, 2016

Monday Blues, on a Sunday


It will not be an easy way to start the week. An early flight to ***************** for a business meeting. Try to convince the brass at the ************ we have the best armed autonomous killer robots in the world. Actually we don't have to convince them we have the best armed autonomous killer robots, we only have to convince them we have the best armed autonomous killer robots for the price.

It really isn't that difficult, everybody in the defense contractor business knows what everybody else is doing. It is similar to a bunch of old women waiting at the doctor's office, talking and gossiping and carping about ailments real and imagined. So we know what General Dynamics, and Boeing, and Lima Tank Facility are going to ask for we can come in a lot cheaper, the real profit is in "cost overruns." We say "we can build you the best killer robots in the world for a certain amount of money." And the government says "Hey, that's great thanks."

Then we say "oh, we need more money, we made a mistake, and we need a lot more money, sorry we should have been more careful." 

And the government says "sure, here you go. Oh, if we double the money can you add some glitter and sparkles? Don't hesitate to ask if you need some more, we have tons."

Then we have to rush back to the office for the Monday Trash Ball tournament. It is a new game we invented where you take a coffee beans and a politely worded note to the recent past and shoot it out of a compressed air cannon into a man made space time eddy that has been floating around the facility since that failed instant coffee experiment. Anyway, when it spits out the coffee ground coffee covered wad of paper everybody tries to get out of the way. Whoever gets hit first has to buy donuts, and pay for the dry cleaning.

We would have scheduled the meeting for Tuesday except that is when we have the Pirates from the Past luncheon. Nobody wants to miss that.