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Thursday, June 16, 2016

Saving Jeff, Part 7 - The Crusade of Bob #FixThePlus

Regular readers will have been aware that Dr. Dawg has managed to hook up the dark, destructive, and downright dangerous "Bob the Custodian" to his computer, and imprinted his violent personality onto a minute robot that has been injected into the battleground commonly known as Jeff the shipping guy, in an effort to end the war currently wrecking his insides, or at the very least his shoulder and digestive system, although the way Jeff used to get through sauerkraut and buckeye candy, a little bit of digestive trouble was only to be expected.

(If you haven't read all of the epic Saving Jeff series, don't delay, read now so you don't spoil this episode - part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, and surprise surprise, Part 6)

Robot Bob found himself in a curious red tunnel, which smelt of chilli and beans, and with a curious red liquid sloshing around.  With a whirr, his outboard motor came to life and he sped down the tunnel, gliding through the liquid like a falling cat going through air en route to a juicy mouse.

 "Hey, you!" shouted another robot.  Without a pause, Bob  took a solid hold of the other robot, pulled it apart, and ate it.  No one messes with Bob.

 Several white blobs cheered at the victory.

 "Say, what are you guys?" asked Bob, wondering if they needed eating too - he couldn't remember the last time he'd had something decent to eat, like a steak or perhaps a really big taco.

 "Leukocytes!"

 Bob got a little angry. "I'm looking, and you're a sight." he growled at them, robot pincers tapping away.  The white blood cells looked as worried as blobs with no facial features could.

"We've been trying to take on these invaders, but they're just too strong for us. We need you, great leader."

 Finally, Bob had discovered a group of people - okay, cells - that recognised his true worth, as a dark and undefeatable leader.

 "Let's go show these robots whose home this is.  It's mine," Bob added, then quickly added, "I mean Jeff's." and for good measure raised his robotic arm into the air and somehow blasted the ceiling of the red tunnel with flame (Dr. Dawg had managed to minaturise more weaponry than he intended).

 Meanwhile, stood around the large twitching body of Jeff, Dr. Dawg and Thomas watched as a hole was burned out of Jeff's elbow, and a puff of black smoke ebbed out.

 "I say old bean, I don't really like the look of that, by jingo! Tally ho!" Thomas exclaimed, having for an ineffable reason taken on a faux-British accent.

 It was clear that the battle for Jeff had turned in our favour.  But would there be anything left of Jeff after?