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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

A New Life Explained App, (not really don't get too excited)

Election years are murder on government funded research and development facilities. Sure, the next war monger President will come through with some serious coin for their particular weapon of choice. Probably not like Bush, and Rumsfeld golden years, man those guys knew how to spend some defense capital. But, whoever wins will want to put their mark on history, and the best way to do that is providing the cash to develop a weapon that will bring the enemy to their knees.

Until then we, here at Life Explained, have some free time on our hands, and some room in the company coffers. What better way to take care of both problems than developing a few smart phone apps. People are always goofing around with the silly things.

Of course, a quick glance at the market reveals a glut of almost every type of app imaginable. Games, notes, lists, photo, video, all are covered. Fortunately, for us, here at Life Explained, anyway, there is one category woefully undeveloped. Supernatural Detectors.

Using the latest technology and the most ancient artifacts we combined a cell phone camera with a spell from long forgotten texts and created a powerful tool to detect the presence of the departed. Which was a good start, but duplex communication was needed. We added a binary wave algorithm and the wisdom of Anubis (the Egyptian god of the Underworld) to converse with the ghosts.

Turns out they (the ghosts) are everywhere. Our kitchen and the shipping dock were filled with them. We were so excited, think of the things we could learn, the challenges we could overcome, the wisdom of the ages waiting for us. All things from all time delivered digitally.

Turns out ghosts are pretty dull people. Oh, probably not all of them. Occasionally you will probably run into one that offers some jewel or two. But, far and large most of them just want to talk about food, and drink. A lot of them ask about coffee, and if it is still so tasty. Donuts, sweet rolls, and pastries and frozen burritos are a constant source of fascination.

So, if you want you can buy our ghost hunting app, just don't expect too much.