Pablo Picasso said "every act of creation is first an act of destruction." We wish we would have read that before writing our mission statement, or negotiated our insurance. It explains so much, like the time we accidentally set off the nuclear weapon trying to clean the hallway on the 7th floor.
Never again will we allow the Rotary Club to use the conference room. Man, those guys can party, but since they are all getting older, not very well. Buffalo wing sauce, queso dip and frozen daiquiri debris was scattered from the elevator to the restrooms.
We thought using a small, controlled nuclear reaction to power the carpet cleaner was the only option. It worked splendidly too. Until the coolant unit became clogged by tortilla chips and the reactor overheated causing a smallish nuclear incident.
At first we were a little worried about the bad publicity that was sure to come our way. You know how the press can blow a small thing like a radioactive cloud out of proportion.
Turns out, though, the correct mix of tequila, rum, canned cheese, gamma rays and ionizing radiation can actually bring plastic plants to life, even providing them with some rudimentary intelligence, and noticeable personality. The press ate it up. For weeks they were following the plants around, snapping photos, taking videos, loving every second, until the palm tree ate one of the local anchor people. Which was sad. But, they quit coming around, which is good, and kind of sad.
But, that is not what we are here to talk about, What we are here to talk about is the new iPhone 7, and the Galaxy Note 7. Apparently you can drop either one of these phones into the lake, and they will still work, if you can find them. This is an amazing feat, if you are planning on dropping your phone in a lake. If so, we highly recommend rushing out and buying one of these phones right now. Don't pass over any bodies of water on the way, though. Just to be safe.
Monday, September 19, 2016
Sometimes things work out, sometimes not.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.