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Monday, September 19, 2016

Sometimes things work out, sometimes not.

Pablo Picasso said "every act of creation is first an act of destruction." We wish we would have read that before writing our mission statement, or negotiated our insurance. It explains so much, like the time we accidentally set off the nuclear weapon trying to clean the hallway on the 7th floor.

Never again will we allow the Rotary Club to use the conference room. Man, those guys can party, but since they are all getting older, not very well. Buffalo wing sauce, queso dip and frozen daiquiri debris was scattered from the elevator to the restrooms.

We thought using a small, controlled nuclear reaction to power the carpet cleaner was the only option. It worked splendidly too. Until the coolant unit became clogged by tortilla chips and the reactor overheated causing a smallish nuclear incident.

At first we were a little worried about the bad publicity that was sure to come our way. You know how the press can blow a small thing like a radioactive cloud out of proportion.

Turns out, though, the correct mix of tequila, rum, canned cheese, gamma rays and ionizing radiation can actually bring plastic plants to life, even providing them with some rudimentary intelligence, and noticeable personality. The press ate it up. For weeks they were following the plants around, snapping photos, taking videos, loving every second, until the palm tree ate one of the local anchor people. Which was sad. But, they quit coming around, which is good, and kind of sad.

But, that is not what we are here to talk about, What we are here to talk about is the new iPhone 7, and the Galaxy Note 7. Apparently you can drop either one of these phones into the lake, and they will still work, if you can find them. This is an amazing feat, if you are planning on dropping your phone in a lake. If so, we highly recommend rushing out and buying one of these phones right now. Don't pass over any bodies of water on the way, though. Just to be safe.