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Tuesday, October 4, 2016

More successful R and D, here at Life Explained

Yesterday was a big day, here at Life Explained. We finally managed to solve the Rubik's Cube that someone had left in the break room on the 7th floor. Well, solved might not be the right description. We painted the whole thing black. And then dipped it in a polymer resin glaze that provided an almost frictionless surface, so nobody could mess it up.

Unfortunately, when the cube fell off the table, as it was almost impossible to prevent, due to the greatly reduced surface friction it slid out the door. We were powerless to stop it, nobody could pick it up. When it hit the escalator it was gone.

It flew out the window, slid across the executive patio and sailed out into the atmosphere. Since the friction was almost nil there was no slowing it down.

It gathered momentum as it rocketed through the sky unimpeded. In a couple of hours it had circled the earth, and came crashing through the windows on the other side of the building. The cube smashed through a row of file cabinets, and covered the office in a plush layer of confetti. A small, black projectile, hurtling unimpeded through the atmosphere, and it was accelerating.

Using the combined power of NORAD radars and our smart phones we calculated we had 27 minutes before the next impact. Thinking quickly, we built a chute that would send the small, hurtling box into space, and if we calculated correctly it would crash harmlessly into the sun.

It went remarkably well, if you don't count all of the wholes in the building, and the damaged equipment, (we lost our espresso machine, it was devastating), and the 9th floor people who are picketing for hazard pay (what a bunch of whiners).

On the plus side the US military just ordered 5,000 units, so it was not a total loss.