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Saturday, October 1, 2016

The Sky's the Limit


Jester's Log. Mission #5: The Sky's the Limit
Our fearless leader Tim Clark took a brief vacation last week which gave us the opportunity to make a few changes around the office. As with most companies, when the boss is away - the kids will play. The only difference at the Life Explained Deep Space Colonization Department is that we don't let the sky be our limit. 

Due to the fact that we have not made as much progress as hoped with our teleportation project, we were forced to utilize more remedial technology in the interim. We did not take this unplanned expenditure lightly though. In fact, we found a way to stretch our dollar by making a purchase that will benefit other departments at Life Explained. 

The recent growth in staff and the increased number of company meetings and outings has created a need for a new company vehicle. The VW beetle no longer accommodates everyone. Fortunately for us, NASA was having a killer sale on space shuttles. Apparently NASA couldn't justify having a $450 million dollar spacecraft sitting around doing nothing. Since they aren't allowed to do their job anymore, they had a rather large rummage sale. 

Life Explained is now the proud owner of a space shuttle. Although it's pretty much worthless for local trips within our atmosphere, it does look pretty cool sitting out in front of the building. I hope Tim doesn't mind that he now has to park across the street though. The shuttle takes up a lot of parking spots...

On the bright side, we now have a means of getting supplies off planet to set up the remote receiving sites for our teleportation testing to begin. (We couldn't get any volunteers to test the teleportation device without having a known "landing" location.) Our progress is bound to advance at a pretty steady rate now and we are hoping to have our first remote receiving site in place by early 2018. That of course is assuming the Clark/Zahrt team wins the election so we can use government funding for the ongoing expenses. We kind of blew our budget with the space shuttle purchase. It was on sale, but still not cheap. 

I better get back at it. I see Susan is playing around with the controls in the cockpit again. Last time she did that, the engine blast took out the Taco Bell next door. We can't afford any more losses like that. Pretty soon we'll be back to eating gas station burritos. Until next time....