It is a sign of the times. There is a show about Christmas light displays. Ostensibly, the most garish, brightest, flashiest celebration of the solemn, profound occasion will win the prize. No, that was just a little joke. It has nothing to do with the birth of a Savior, it is all about Santa Claus, reindeer, and sparkling, glittery snowmen. All synced to a rock and roll beat.
In the first episode the Smiths are doing well, they have 75,000 lights scattered around their house. Santa, 🎅 his sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer perched on the peak of the house, and enough light pollution to call the mother ship here from the Andromeda galaxy. Across town, though, the Ringolds, put Santa, and Frosty on rotating platform, elves twinkling and dancing to Jingle Bell Rock all across the front yard, and fireworks exploding from the chimney🎆 and are looking to grab the lead.
It doesn't look good for the Smiths. Until Mr. Smith's Mother, a kindly, gray octogenarian, with a walker that turns and doubles as a seat, on work release from the Shade of Heaven retirement home, fires a rocket propelled grenade through the living room window. The explosion destroys half of the house, and cuts the power to the carefully placed, meticulously orchestrated lights. And the sound system.
At first the judges are a frozen. But, there was no law against explosive ordnance. There were several provisions for firearms, and light artillery, after the debacle last year with the 75mm mortars, and the raging fire fight in Santa Clara, they had no choice. But, the Smiths had been wise enough to find the loophole. And are now in a solid first place.
Tune in next week when the producers revise the rules. Here is a little spoiler, they forget about tactical nuclear weapons. Say goodbye to Tempe. Including the Phoenix Cardinals, the Suns, and Pizzeria Bianco, which is a real shame.
Monday, November 28, 2016
Christmas, and the competition is really sizzling.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.