Now Hiring; Visionary, and Accountant,

Recently, we, here at Life Explained©, have entered into negotiations with a visionary. For the most part things are going very well, but it is always tempting to believe he knows our offer beforehand, though we are not really sure that is what a visionary does. Seeing the future would be a significant portion of the individual responsibilities. It might not include detail so minute as dollars (which are numerous) and sense (which is slight).

Until we can get this visionary hired we have decided to work on training a staff member. Not an easy task, either. There are not a lot of concrete steps outlined in the making of a seer. Most of it seems like a lot of hocus pocus crap to us. We like to keep an open mind though, and started resolutely approaching the perfecting of intuition.

We started with three cards, an ace, a seven and a queen, and asked our "volunteer" to guess which one was being held to his forehead. One out of three, even a skeptic should be able to get it right 30% of the time. Not our "volunteer," he missed it every time. We threw out the seven and he still missed the card, every time, not one right answer.

We started getting a little frustrated, and added a "carrot and stick" approach. We used a fudge
brownie, though, after deciding a carrot really was not much of a reward. A stick seemed like a reasonable incentive though.

Still, he couldn't get one right. Even after we started giving him hints, "it isn't the ace, bob," and all he did was sob. And, we hit him with the stick, again. And then he quit, and then he hired a lawyer, what a whiny little sniveler, after all we did for him. Good help is so hard to find.

So, we are still trying to find a visionary, and now we need a new accountant. Send your resumes to, well, send them where you think you should, if you're right, you're hired.