Chasing an Alien Looking Truck.

Every morning on my commute I see one or two trucks that defy explanation. Official, cryptic and covered in wicked looking attachments, claw looking things on the end of articulated arms, huge chutes, tubes and pipes, malevolent, unexplainable, monstrous gadgets protruding at odd angles from everywhere. They always have some vaguely reassuring, yet oddly uncomfortable name plastered on a board and stuck on the side.

You never know what they do. It seems impossible to even imagine a use for all those things. It is as if they tried to invent a truck to do too many things. Or, a truck to do one thing, one terrible thing, a dark, unimaginable thing.

I had to know. So I followed the truck today. It wasn't difficult. A truck with that much stuff moves slowly through downtown traffic.

Keeping a couple of cars between us I followed them down 4th street. They stopped at 4th and Long. Two men climbed out and walked into "Maven's Heavenly Donuts."

In about twenty minutes one came out carrying boxes, big donut boxes, three of them. The other had cups of coffee in those cardboard carriers. Each held four cups. How many guys were in the cab of this truck?

It made me a little hungry. I should have followed them in and bought one of those chocolate frosted cinnamon rolls. Maven kills with that one. It has to have 1,000 calories and it is a whole meal, but it is my favorite roll in the whole city.

Two block east on Main, the truck pulls into a parking lot and a guy gets out of the driver side. He walks over to the small gourmet catering truck that serves the businesses in the surrounding buildings. This truck serves chicken sandwiches, wraps and salads all made with a unique Cajun sauce and a mild, smokey chipotle seasoning. Rated number one by the local paper it is a great place to eat, reasonably priced, with fast, friendly service, it is a favorite of many who work downtown. He must have spent a hundred dollars. Sandwiches, chips, drinks, salads, all piled into his arms and carried back to the truck. I was going to grab something but they were rolling.

Heading north the truck pulled into the Street Home Market, home to the Monster Pizza, a dangerous amount of pepperoni, bacon, sausage, and salami piled on a thick crust covered in Parmesan, and Romano cheese. It only comes in one size, the Godzilla.

At that point I was starving, went to work ate my lunch, I had a turkey on wheat with low fat dressing, a side of carrot sticks and tomato juice. I need to get a better job.