Don't worry, everything is going to be fine, probably.

Halloween is coming. This is a good time for a public service announcement;

If you are seeing ghosts, goblins, vampires, aliens, werewolves, headless horsemen, poltergeists, or presidential candidates don't be alarmed. They are probably only children dressed up as frightening specters of the netherworld. Except, of course, for the presidential candidates who are adults acting like children.

You are probably safe. A good method to test the safety of any situation is to ask your friend to go first. "Hey, Bob, how about checking out that group of deranged looking characters standing on the steps over there."

"Are you insane? That's the school building, and those are teachers! Remember the murderous, maniacal, wretched years we spent in school? I'm not going anywhere near them. Look at them, standing there armed with text books, and homework, pop quizzes, trips to the principals office, detention, and blinding, boundless hatred."*







"Oh yeah, you're right, lets cut through the graveyard, and across the freeway instead."

The lesson to be learned here is there are always alternatives, and sometimes you don't need to sacrifice your friend. But, don't get too close because sometimes the teachers demons can not be avoided.




*I have nothing but respect for teachers, I love them, all of them, even the ones with razor sharp yardsticks and venomous sarcasm, I guess that is all of them.

Teachers are human, too, maybe.

Teachers used to terrify me, malevolent beings bent on my destruction.  After a full days torment there they were popping up to haunt my dreams.  There were teachers who, given the proper motivation, could cut a car in half with a yard stick, and the proper motivation was normally only one poorly constructed sentence, or misplaced decimal point away.  Life and death decisions waited at every turn.

Naturally as I got older and met teachers in a more social climate, or met any number of either of my son's teachers I realized they were evil.  And time had not changed their desire to make my life miserable.  I actually bought a Kevlar vest for conferences.

Imagine my surprise when one of the people who befriended me early on the forum turned out to be a TEACHER!  It was almost funny, we had little online conversations, and she seemed so nice.  To my hyper-alert, heightened teacher radar pieces started to fall in place.

I started to notice things, like how when she entered the forum all of the people would disappear.  There was a one word post, "LOOKOUT,. it's Millie" (not her real name, to protect you, my innocent readers) and it would echo up and down the forum.  And my forum posts would start bouncing back to my email with red marks all over them.  Sometimes they were actually crying.

Still, I pressed on, we were quit smoking buddies, and soon we became Facebook friends.  I noticed her "wall" was littered with people begging for forgiveness, asking to be excused from the "lunch time pop quiz club" pleading for leniency regarding the book report on "War and Peace."  One was particularly touching, "I am only a 2nd grader, and that book is huge, I can't even lift it up."

Next thing you know we are playing "Words with Friends" together.  It is terrible how badly she beats me, sometimes she makes up words, and the app lets her, because even the guys at Zynga are terrified of her.  Once she had used every square on the board, and made "legal words" everywhere.*

But, she is a good friend and we quit smoking together, and that is a very strong bond.  I hope she doesn't make me clean the erasers, it was just a joke, And I think the world of her, you are great, Emma, (not her real name).  Now, I need to tidy up my notebooks, and study my history, a little.



*Really, it is a friendly game between equals, she is just a lot more equal, that's all.  She does not need to cheat to beat me.