Bargains, Deals, Sales, Galore.

The government has been enduring the budget cuts forced by sequestration for quite a while.  It has become a  boon for bargain hunters.  The government has been laying off people, left, right, up, down, in the middle, the ax is falling everywhere.  And all of those people had desks, desk chairs, staplers, pen holders, lever handled three hole punch machines, and computers.  Of course, the government stores some of this, but much of it goes on sale, ridiculously cheap.

If you know someone you can find some good deals.  Fortunately, we here at Life Explained know lots of somebodies.  We had several large defense department contracts during the late 90s and the early part of the last decade.  Mostly dealing with the construction of parking structures in hostile environments, nobody wants their M1A2 Abrams, 68 ton, Main Battle Tank to sit out in the elements, and get all spotted and potentially rusty.

Or that is what we thought, and so did several members of key congressional committees, who received generous election donations from an unnamed donor.  Turns out those things are remarkably sturdy, and a lot bigger, and heavier than cars, even the big SUVs.  Man, was that general guy mad when that tank fell through the floor, and landed on his limousine.  It would have been funny the way he was hopping around, screaming and swearing, and throwing his sunglasses and hat on the ground, if it weren't for all of those guys with all of those guns, knives, hand grenades, rocket launchers, and all sorts of explosive, violent stuff. It seemed like everybody there was holding a weapon.  So, we left, we can take a hint.

Anyhoo, a guy we had worked with called us and said they were "decommissioning" a large number of large, dangerous, expensive nuclear weapons, all of which were controlled by computers, which were no longer needed.  He said we could pick up some serious computational power for pennies on the dollar.  We are always in the market for a deal, so we jumped on the opportunity.

They are not your standard PC, and there is a steep learning curve to the program architecture, and the hardware associations, but it came with a video, and a manual, so we should be OK.  Here is a picture of the cover.

Everybody needs a back up plan.

It was quite an event when the first star wars movie hit theaters, way back in 1977.  People were thrilled with the special effects, and the drama.  It was a smash hit, with clearly defined, easily identified heroes, outnumbered, out gunned, out space shipped by despicable, power mad villains.

An epic battle ended the movie, when a small force of rebel fighters struggling against astronomical odds managed to find an uncovered, minute exhaust vent.  It seemed desperate, and the heroes were falling like snow in a polar vortex.

However, one pilot, who received his training when he used "to bullseye womp rats," on his home planet of Tatooine.  It really did not look promising at this point.  People wanted to leave the theater, it was almost impossible to believe this wet behind the ears kid, who used to bullseye womp rats, was going to blow up a battle ship the size of a planet!

But, something wonderful happened.  Using an ancient practice of unbelievable power and proportion he managed to drop a couple of photon torpedoes, (wait, that might be Star Trek, let me check my facts here real quick, it was proton torpedoes), proton torpedoes right down that exhaust port, blowing up the Death Star, and winning fame, fortune, cash, and the friendship of a Princess, and a callous, crusty, but lovable smuggler and his huge hairy friend.

Act Now, and we will throw in the "Jabba the Hutt,
Cooking for Big Guys"  you only pay the additional
shipping and handling.

Now, for the first time you can use this power to improve your life.  That's right friends for a limited time we are offering a step by step guide to manipulate the power of the universe to improve your measly life.

With this book you will learn to make people think they are looking for some other droids, not yours.   Impress your friends by holding your large, heavy X-wing fighter aloft for several minutes.

The first 500 orders will also receive the Official Obi Wan Kanobe Flashlight Pen / Light Saber.  Perfect for jotting down a quick note, finding your sandwich in a power outage or cutting off the arm of an intergalactic criminal, wanted in seven systems!!!  You only pay the additional shipping and handling.

You had better acti quickly,supplies are limited.

Not for angry people, people whose mothers have been taken by sand people, or people who are fond of the dark side.  Not responsible for any terrible, disfiguring accidents caused by uncontrolled rage, or terrible battles in a fiery droid manufacturing facility.