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Showing posts with label indifference. Show all posts
Showing posts with label indifference. Show all posts

Friday, June 1, 2018

A New Empty Lot


Less than a block from the place I work was a building. Over the years it has had various incarnations as different night clubs. I can’t, for the life of me, remember any of the names. Over the years the economy got worse, and nobody wanted to roll the dice on an urban club, in a run-down building miles from where the clientele lived. It sat empty, and decaying. The roof began to cave in.

It was a grey, black stucco covered eye sore. But it was old, and it had a history. A history no one man probably knew. It had a house that was probably over a hundred years old, and at some point, probably 60 or 70 years ago someone had added a squat, rectangular, windowless building. Why is lost in the ages.

A family of feral cats moved in and sometimes if you looked out the kitchen window of our building at the right time you could see one of the homeless people sharing food and milk he got from the mission with the cats.

Since the economy is better, and people are willing to roll the dice they tore the building down. Some big moneyed investor is probably going to construct a new apartment building. A glorious marvel of profitability overlooking the scenic homeless shelter. Until the can find a way to relocate the shelter. As long as the economy stays strong, anyway.

I looked out the window and saw a guy standing there holding a garden-hose spraying water on the building. It seemed odd, he wasn’t a fire man, at least he wasn’t dressed like a fireman, the building didn’t appear to be on fire, and it was raining lightly. Then, in a display of raw machine anger and fury, a deliberate, malignant show of mechanical superiority a claw rose over the roof and smashed down. Puffs of dust rose, and were quickly extinguished by the rain and the guy with the hose.

In one day, one guy with a big tractor, and his side kick with a hose knocked the building down. It was an astonishingly efficient act of destruction. Now the cats and the homeless have to find someplace else. We never really try to do anything about homelessness just the homeless. They can live with the problem, just not the symptoms.

It was gone, years of memories, parties, and friendships, brought down to an elemental pile of splintered rubbish. To add insult to the injury they parked the tracked, claw wielding tractor on top of the heap. Just to make sure it didn’t reassemble itself overnight. Then they bought in a parade of dump trucks to haul the pile to some final resting place. 

Progress has to march on, I understand, but does it have to be so thorough, and so callous, so cruel? Months later it still sits, an empty lot filled with weeds.

 I can’t help but think this is how things will end for me, knocked flat in one ridiculously casual act of terrible, violent indifference. Moistened to avoid any flashes of brilliance, no chance for a final act of neon glory to offer hope to the disillusioned and lost, just torn to pieces and hauled away by a force much greater than my own. Turned into the moral equivalent of a parking garage, or office building.


Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Another election, congratulations, and condolences,

The election is over, Trump is the winner, and I can live with that. Not that there is much choice. I voted, but only because my wife makes me. Years of casting a ballot has never produced even the smallest feeling of accomplishment, or satisfaction. Quite the opposite, it has left a feeling of forced, uncomfortable compromise.

In my earliest years the rancorous sounds of political campaigns left me feeling a little ashamed, and those politicians were mute, and polite by the standards of today. Now we have never ending news coverage, and "journalists" so slanted that they might as well work for one campaign or the other.

I was never able to put much faith in democracy. A disquieting feeling of corruption and vice always seemed to pervade the whole process.  Once I was old enough to figure out what "redistricting" meant the whole facade of fairness fell away. There is election fraud, and it is carried out on a mass scale by the government, the people elected to be impartial, to work for America, and its citizens. Turns out they were working for themselves, or at the very least their political party.

It is possible they have convinced themselves they are doing the right thing, by doing their best to turn the country into a one party system, all while screaming at the top of their voices from the highest mountain tops that they hold the constitution as a sacred text.

It might be time for me to take a stand. I don't normally tell my wife no. "No, I am no longer taking part in this seamy little charade. The country will have to carry on the ridiculous illusion of free will without me, I refuse to suspend my disbelief any longer." It makes me feel better just typing that.

So, for those of you who wanted Hillary to win, suffer miserably, and for those of you who wanted
Trump to win, gloat insufferably. Either way, don't believe too much is going to change, it never does, and don't think for a minute that any of them will really help, they won't, they don't care.

Politics has always, to me, been an ugly business, filled with ugly people doing ugly things, and it only seems to have gotten worse. And it will probably continue down that dark, disturbing path until somehow it melts down completely. And everybody will say "we should have listened to Tim." I really hate being right all of the time.