Fridays Workout, The Best One Yet.

Last night was the end of week (I am not sure, it was either 4 or 5)? at the gym. It was empty, which is nice, in a way. Rows of equipment standing still, watching me, waiting to see which one I would pick, you could hear the "oooh, pick me, pick me."

 
Working out in an empty gym is nice, it makes me feel dedicated, I could hear the theme song from Rocky playing in my head. I wish they would install a "heavy bag," it would make the image complete, a "speed bag" would do nothing to further the dream, unless you count the Marx Brothers Boxing Academy as part of the dream. When done properly a speed bag is art, when not used correctly it is a ridiculous dance, it looks absurd, and I am not even that good.

 
I used a treadmill, and an elliptical machine, and really pushed myself. I got my heartrate higher than any of my previous workouts, and held it longer. I don't care for exercise bikes, the traditional type is distasteful, but the recumbent kind is terrible. It feels silly, and unnatural, and I will only use them when the other machines are used.

 
Actually, my standards have become much broader. In the beginning there had to be a one machine buffer zone, which is still preferred, but not necessary. Last night I started on the elliptical machine, which was, I thought, my favorite, but moved to a treadmill, which now I know, is my favorite. Elliptical machines are good, but it does not seem as natural as a treadmill, picking 'em up and putting 'em down is the original form of transportation, and I am nothing if not a traditionalist.

 
Moving on to the resistance machines. I increased the weight, and pushed as hard as possible. More weight than any precious attempt. It was refreshing, invigorating, fantastic, and terrible. Straining, pushing, and trying to remember to breathe correctly. Inhale, exhale, repeat. Sore muscles, aching and stiffness, it was a glorious feeling walking down the endless staircase and across the miles of barren, salty, grey asphalt to my car. Somehow the soreness made the whole scene a little brighter.


Last night's podcast was "The Character Called the Writer" from Writing Challenges. I would like to tell you about it, but there were a lot of instructions, and a couple of pauses to write them down. Since I was in the middle of an "Arm Blaster", a particularly cruel portion of the workout on an elliptical machine, pulling with your arms until your shoulders and elbows ache, and your ego is bruised because you know it looks preposterous. 

Since I was the only one, it was probably ok. But, I didn't have a chance to write down the instructions. It reminded me of High School. Who had time to take notes while trying to blend in, not be noticed and facing the abject terror that the teacher may actually ask you to answer the question you didn't hear. Who had time?

 

 
    

Fridays with the Treadmill

Last night was Gym night, and honestly it is getting better. It is not getting easier, because each night I push a little harder. I have raised my target heart rate, significantly, and maintain it longer. Which means working until my lungs burn, and breathing is difficult.

Don't, ever, under any circumstances, let the machine, in this case a treadmill, dictate your workout. Last night, thinking it was time to take the next step, I chose "Zone Training" and the machine asked me for my age, I typed in fifty five, (not my real age (ok it is my real age)), and there was an odd noise, and a slight shake, the treadmill had laughed, softly, maliciously, and the digital display offered a suggestion for a target heart rate, which was about 115. After pressing the "OK" button we started, the treadmill and I were off.

With the program choosing the pace I was free to choose a song. In this case "Bright Lights, Big City" by Them, a band Van Morrison was with during the Sixties. I bought the album "Still on Top – The Greatest Hits" from Amazon, and this song was on there, along with one of my favorite versions of "Baby Please Don't Go."  It is a great song. In fact, I have decided to collect different versions. There are probably dozens of artists who have recorded "Baby, Please Don't Go," and I am on a quest to find all the copies that appeal to me,. Let me know if you have a version that you enjoy.

Anyway, the machine started slowly, letting me warm up. Then it increased the speed and steepened the incline, and I when I took my hand off the heartrate sensor to wipe the sweat from my forehead. it flashed,angrily and obnoxiously enough to cause a seizure, "REPLACE HAND ON HEARTRATE SENSOR!" I did, and the machine upped the speed, and the incline. Soon, the incline was as steep as possible.  It was like running up the side of a building. Van Morrison was spelling "G L O R I A, Gloria" in my ears, and it was miserable, not the song, the workout.  The song was great.

When I hit the target heartrate, gasping, sweating, lungs, legs, and oxygen deprived brain burning, the machine said "New Target Heartrate 136"  I think, my vision was a little blurry, it might have been the sweat pouring down my face.  The machine was giggling, shaking malevolently, or maybe I was having tremors it is hard to say. I pressed the button that said "Cool Down" wiped the sweat from my face.  After my heartrate dropped into the seventies we did it again, the treadmill and I, repeating it two more times. The first attendant told me to do that, she called it interval training.  And my wife told me she was serious about exercise, and very knowledgeable about training.

After a stop to clean the treadmill, hey we are not animals after all, and a refreshing drink of water, I was off the resistance machines. Last night I kept track of what I did, using Wunderlist. When it becomes more impressive I will post a screen shot on here, but now it looks kind of wimpy, and painfully small. But I did add another machine with "leg extensions," Though I know I need to work harder, add more weight, and push a little more, I feel good about that.

In fact, I feel good about myself, there is a euphoric lift from exercise, and I am glad I started. This was smart. If you are thinking about trying it, you should, trust me, I am no athlete, but am so glad I started. You will be also.8

Lessons from the gym, a list.

Here are some observations made from repeated trips to the gym.

1.  People with faulty memory diodes should use a notebook to keep track of weights and repetitions.  Reality sends constant reminders; I am a "big picture" person, who has little time or patience for petty little details (like the names of my co-workers, they are all Bob, to me).  When sitting down on the resistance training machine I am at a complete loss for where I should put the little pin, locking the weights into place.

There is a conversation raging in my head "it was at 80 yesterday, we should stay there for a while and just increase the reps."  The more reasonable side will say.  

"No, 80 is for wimps, we were at 100, at least, and we should go for 120 today.  You wouldn't like that though, you are too lazy to even say the whole word 'repetitions.'"  The less reasonable side will reply. 

Pretty soon it gets heated and I have to step in and say, "why don't we use 90 pounds, and do as many repetitions as possible."  But, they are no longer talking to each other, or me, so that is what we do.  A record of previous workouts would save a lot of aggravation, and we could go back to arguing about important things, like which podcast should be  next.

2.  Even though my elbow feels like it is on fire, it isn't.  I looked, and it seems fine.  Which indicates something is wrong inside.  Not being a doctor limits the scope of the diagnosis, but it is probably something in the joint, or the muscle, or the attaching ligaments, or tendons.  I think.

This injury has reared its ugly head before.  One time it got so bad I even took it to the doctor.  He looked it over and said it was not an uncommon problem among aging men.  And, they could repair it, by cutting open the elbow, and grinding down the canal on the bone, where the nerve, or something ran.  I don't really remember what it was, because at surgery I started getting a little shaky, warm, and lightheaded.  When he started to talk about using a grinder on my bone the room started spinning.  I don't remember too much after that.  But, my elbow felt a lot better, as I sprinted from the office, yelling my thanks at the doctors, nurses, reception personnel, and patients.

3.  Exercising has a lot of benefits.  Yes, there is the long term health improvement, which is why I started.  But, there is an immediate boost, I feel better.  Moreover, I feel better about myself.  Feeling better about myself has made me look for other ways to improve, and there is a vegetable in my lunch everyday, and a glass or two of water in place of a carbonated, sugary soft drink.    

Exercising is not the chore I feared it would be, today is my day off from the gym, so I have time to work out the best way to track my efforts, maybe Wunderlist, or Allthings, it has to be something that will allow the use of photos, or pictures of some kind.  Adding some art makes it more fun, and hey entertainment is cool.  If you have any suggestions for an iOS app that will work let me know, please.  

Remember to exercise, you won't regret it.