Cinco De Mayo, We are One.

I have written a couple of posts about the celebration of Cinco de Mayo. Both of them were at least a little lighthearted and carefree. Parts of them, were, I thought, hilarious. But, in light of things I have seen, read, heard lately I decided to go a different way today. I decided to go back to a time and place in the past.

I grew up in the Midwest. I listened to the body counts signifying progress in the Vietnam war on the nightly news. To my childish mind it seemed we had to have killed everybody in that poor country several times. But, there were ominous signs even then, abuses of power, commanding officers inflating the numbers to make themselves, and their commands look more lethal. Turns out this may have happened several times, so nobody could ever be sure how many people were actually killed in battle.

These were not bad men, bad officers, they were being coerced by a structure that demanded progress, and dead bodies were the chosen standard. It was a difficult war and progress offered some hope of eventual victory, or at least escape. They knew they were not losing, but they wanted so desperately to prove they were winning they were willing to inflate the numbers. Supervisors have used the tactic for years, inflate the numbers on measurements that are hard to disprove, and walk away happy.

Then came Watergate, and the nation exploded. It was espionage to salvage a presidency. And the outrage was complete. Later on, it seems that Nixon really thought his presidency may have been anointed. He was only trying to do the best thing for the country, by authorizing all of that illegal, unscrupulous, immoral activity, it was for the common good, he thought.

Of course, there were other things as well. But, we, as a nation came to view authority without a certain amount of healthy skepticism.

We were not wealthy, in fact we were probably poor, by most measures. And we were Catholic. So I had a lot of Mexican friends. Mostly immigrant parents, or grandparents who had come to America to make a better life for themselves. They took the most physical, demanding jobs, and worked hard for their money.

Anytime I was playing with their children, and it always seemed like there were hundreds of kids, all living in a small house, they shared everything. Warm, fresh homemade tortillas, covered in melting butter, and a little honey, just enough to make your hands sticky and your heart sing. They would laugh at how good I thought it was. They were the epitome of the American Dream.

Somehow the nation has changed, and now we trust our elected officials. Allowing them to manipulate laws to increase the wealth of the largest donors, alter voting districts to maintain an iron grip on power, strip protection from the poor, needy, children, anybody who can not make obscene donations to the hallowed towers of the ruling elite. And we demonize these poor immigrants, who are willing to work at difficult jobs, performing back breaking labor, settling for low wages, and little actual respect.

And somehow I am supposed to believe this is the path to making America great again. I miss the old days.

Winter Vacations for the Cheap, and Broke.

We are proud to announce the new Travel Section of the Life Explained Blog.  With the Polar Vortex screaming across the frozen landscape of Canada it is time to escape to warmer climes, more hospitable weather, a place where frozen drinks are a welcome choice, not a bitter reality.  Unfortunately, recent events (mostly the vengeful retribution of the gods of chance, at the poker table) have left us a little short on cash.  But, there are wonderful options at hand for the more frugal among us.

"What, it's going to get worse?!??!"

Yesterday, here at the Life Explained headquarters it was twenty nine bitter, windy, icy winter degrees.  And that was pretty warm when looking at the forecast.  Turns out looking at the forecast was not such a good idea, soon the walls were closing in, the room was getting smaller, desks being crushed,computers malfunctioning, emails bouncing back, phones short circuiting, lamps flickering, faxes garbled, eyesight dimming, can't breathe, cold fingers of death tightening around ...  Maybe we need to get out and, maybe we should see the world and we should do it on a budget of $1.22.  And, so can you.

We just put on our insulated coveralls, parkas and, ski masks right over the top of our cargo shorts, flowered shirts and, sun visors, load up in the car and head to the grocery store.  If you are afraid to drive in these terrible conditions we  will pick you up at your house, drive you to the local store and, take you on a trip around the world, sort of.

Hello, Mr. Chips

Don't let gloomy, cloudy, grey, dreary days get you down.  Look at these, nothing says party in the warmth like a colorful bag of tortilla chips.  A splash of lime, and a few cacti, and all of the sudden the world is a fiesta.  Man, we feel better already.

Healthy and, multilingual pancakes.

If a bag of delicious, salty tortilla chips is not enough, take a look to the heavens, or at least the signs hanging dangerously over your head, it is conveniently translated into Spanish, the language of sunshine and parties.  Everybody repeat after me, "Fantastico, can someone get me a cerveza?"

So real it might be deported.

But, we are not done yet, why settle for phony, artificial Mexican food, on this almost real trip to the wonderful country south of the deep freeze we call home, when "authentic mexican" food is one a quick grocery cart push away?  You can almost hear hear the salsa music calling you to dance, and feel the warm breeze caressing your wind chapped, raw, red, cheek, like a Mother's kiss.

We will visit one day when we have more time.

Not in the mood for a trip south?  No problem, how about a jaunt across the pond?  Fish and chips, anyone?  A few warm beers, and some more fish and chips, (all right, we admit, we don't know much about British food, and did not pay that much attention, the store employees were getting a little suspicious by this point, and we had to hurry)  and we will all be singing "God save the queen," at least we think that is a song.  Maybe you are in the mood for something Mediterranean, nice and warm there, and very hip, for very cool people.  Here you will need to fill in your own food choices, maybe some pita chips and, humus, maybe a gyro, we are not sure and, we had no time to look around, the police were searching the store one "country" at a time and, were beginning to close on our location.

Dinner,

Then a nap.

After a hard day traveling the world, one aisle at a time, it is time to head over to the "outdoor living section," and enjoy the fruits of our labor, after a quick stop in kitchen appliances and accessories to pick up a can opener, and a dash into hardware to grab a box opener. Now, we are talking vacation!  Warmth, comfort, and convenient to the restrooms.  Pass around the chips, and salsa, and pop open a few cold ones, while I run over to the electronics department to grab a tv, and one of those of little, electric grills.  Now would be an excellent time to point out the dangers of burning charcoal indoors, it emits a lethal gas that can cause security personnel to go absolutely insane.  Trust us on this.

Don't forget to tune in next weeks episode, "Asia on the run, for the price of a postage stamp."