Falcons, Patriots, and Indigestion, That is Super.

Ah, Super Bowl weekend*, the pinnacle of the NFL season, they culmination of months of preparation, planning, coordinating, scheming, all wrapped up in a weekend of gluttony.  A festival of televised excess, all of the grandeur, drama, and, pageantry that sweaty grown men, covered in pads, dressed in color coordinated uniforms, screaming coaches, and overenthusiastic announcers can muster.  

It was five short months ago they started the pregame show... no wait, five months ago they started the season.  A season filled with opportunity, the dreams of millions of fans riding a roller coaster of momentary hope and crushing reality, hoping to be the fans who could say, after this very weekend, "our millionaires are so much tougher than your millionaires, our rich guys might be the toughest in the land."  Trash talking is not what it used to be.  

Most fans will have to settle for the comfort of knowing that their millionaires played their hearts out,
leaving it all on the field, for the game they love, the team they are with, the city in which they play, the fans who constantly second guess their abilities and their coaches decision making skills, and millions of dollars.  Small comfort, though it is.

But, now the big weekend is here fans everywhere can watch while the networks try to rake in every stray penny they can.  If you will pardon the expression, for television, this is like the Super Bowl of Super Bowls.  Advertisers are lined up to spend huge sums of money for paltry seconds.  After spending a fortune to produce a commercial that will have people talking about their commercial, though, maybe not their product.

It is a uniquely American phenomenon, this Super Bowl madness, unless you count the World Cup in soccer (futbol to people who aren't American), or the World Cup in Rugby, or maybe the Olympics, or The Stanley Cup, or the selection of the next Pope, or the running of the bulls, or... well, maybe it is not so unique, but, it is still a big deal, particularly if you like commercial advertisements.


*I'm not really sure when the Super Bowl (this is a job for the Super Bowl) is, this weekend, next weekend, but for the sake of this post it doesn't really matter.

Damn Those Patriots.

Until recently the I cared very little for the NFL. Oh sure I would always pick a team to root for, normally right after the Super Bowl. Man, I was on a roll there, my teams were kicking bottom, It was a great system.

It was an ill wind that blew in from the Northeast. There was a group of men, who had the audacity to call themselves patriots, and even invoked the image of the Minute Man, cheating. And not just cheating either, you know grabbing a little extra jersey, or poking a guy in the snoot at the bottom of a pile, or saying heinous things about an opponents Mother when lining up against him, they all do that, it is an accepted part of the game.

And it wasn't just the garden variety schmoozing of the referee, in an effort to distract him, or "accidentally" stepping on the quarterback while he is laying on the ground, or the greasing of the uniform with slippery silicone to make yourself more difficult to tackle, or having the person with the down marker distract the coach by chewing gum and popping bubbles as annoyingly loud as possible, everybody does those things. That is just strategy.

No, this was much worse, it was so bad even the NFL and the Super Fans who anchor the shows on
ESPN and Fox Sports had to say something. That is how desperate it has become. It seems that the quarterback deflated some footballs that were used by the other team.  It was so bad that the NFL suspended him from four games. But, the American Judicial system in its zeal to mete out justice overturned the suspension. Justice at work, an American Symbol.

During the opening game between the Steelers and the "Patriots" (don't make me laugh) the Line Judge called a False Start on the right tackle of the New England team, and was about to assess a five yard penalty, but the Judge came out on the field and overruled him. He actually called an encroachment on Pittsburgh and gave the five yards to New England. The Pittsburgh coaching staff was livid, and were almost charged with Contempt of the Court. It was so close.

Thank goodness they had soothing music being piped into all of their communication gear, or it could have gotten ugly.

NFL the season begins.

Last night the NFL season officially began, here are the highlights. Two teams filled with huge, fast, fit men making gigantic piles of money lined up in opposing lines and ran as hard and as fast as they could until they slammed into each other.

One team scored more points and won the game. But, I am not sure how many points they scored, I am pretty certain the Patriots won, though, because according to reports they are unrepentant cheaters. Scofflaws, ne'er do wells, that disregard rules, regulations, and common decency. Which makes winning a lot easier.

Here is the problem, there are people lining up to offer damning evidence that the Patriots are cheating. Somebody is obviously not very patriotic. At this point it is difficult to tell whether it is the Patriots who, by the act of cheating so blatantly that even the NFL has noticed, are defiling the decent name of patriotism, or the accusers who, tired of losing, and watching the New England team bask in the glory of victory are unfairly accusing a group of Patriots, who are guilty of nothing more than excellence.

And either way I am furious. Those bastards! I just don't know where to vent my outrage right yet.

But, if the Patriots are guilty I would like to offer them the opportunity to run my fantasy team, with their alleged ability to game the system, and my indifference to fantasy sports we could go a long way. What do you say, Bill?