Coming Attractions.

We have decided to fire up the ol’ Life Explained movie studio. That’s right, time to light the fires of undeserved hype and unfounded boasting. It is too late to record, edit and produce an entry for Cannes this year, unless we hurry, and one of you happens to know someone who can sneak it into the lineup. If so we might be able to push production up, rush the editing process, and cut corners on CGI. But, we will probably have to start filming right after lunch. After we write the script, of course. Let us know.

Anyway, we have the writer, me, the producer, and the editor, me and me, respectively, and the key grip, the best boy (whatever they do) and all of the hundreds of jobs that roll by on the endless credits, for hours, all being filled by me.



The grand production will star the entire world, at least the part of the world that is within easy reach. So, that is ready.

Most importantly we have two new apps ”Movie Maker and Video Editor” for the PC, which earned a phenomenal 3.8 stars with 927 reviews. And Philm for the iPhone, which received a four star rating with 103 reviews.

Here, we should say a word about apps and ratings on various devices. We, here at Life Explained, love apps, we are always in the market for new apps. And we pay attention to the ratings and reviews with a keen, if slightly casual interest. People who write reviews on the Microsoft Store are a lot tougher than on the App Store. Just an observational note. Apps that work well on the Surface sometimes get poor ratings, but would get glowing reviews on the iPhone. Maybe Apple users are just happier, I don’t know. I use both, which explains the inner turmoil and conflict.

So, here we are, getting read to make a movie about the glories of life, the rich diversity of the small universe, the profound, and wonderful beauty, and the striking, captivating ugliness. More than anybody could imagine, less than everybody would hope for.  Filmed with two different cameras, produced with two 4 star apps, (for the sake of convenience we are counting a 3.8 star rating as a 4 star rating, unless we are driven by a sudden spasm of generosity in which case we will assume they are both 5 star ratings) and accompanied by the music of somebody wonderful.

The weekend takes on a new joy. You can thank us later.

A new chapter in the story of Life Explained.

Yesterday I wrote a blog post on the Tech Whacko site about video processing apps. I have several, and if you have read this blog before you know I love all apps. If this is your first trip here, well, I love all apps. But, video apps is an obsession all it's own. Probably an unhealthy, unholy, demon sort of obsession.

I will read about one, and think that looks pretty cool, and rush off to download the free version. Of course, as any fool could tell you, the free version is lame, and never worth the trouble.

But, here is why any fool is wrong! If I didn't download the free version how could I possibly have ever know how desperately I needed the full version. Once the free, stripped of all the really cool stuff had been tried, and found lacking then it was off to the App Store.

Seven dollars, it is a small price to pay for such a wonderful little bit of software wizardry. Of course, I needed the other one as a comparative model. There is no way I could know if my $7.00 had been well spent without buying the $6.00 competing app. Wow, that one is great too.

And, how about this one, it is only $3.00. What a steal.

Right now you are probably thinking, "big deal, Tim. Should we care about your foolish dreams? Are you going to continue going on and on about this? Don't you have anything better to do?"

To these questions I answer, Yes, Maybe, and Probably, and I will get to it in a minute.

Here is the thing, I have invested about sixteen smackers in these things, and now I am trying to convince my wife I need a new iPad to use  them effectively. The iPhone works but a bigger screen would be great. Which means you are going to be seeing a lot more videos on this blog. I apologize in advance.

But, she is not going to just take my word for the necessity of a new device. And, desperate times call for desperate measures. So, in the comments I need everybody to say something like "wow, that  is cool, just think of what you could do with a bigger screen."

Here is a trailer from my first blockbuster, smash hit, A Robot Looks at Humanity.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Our mistake, sorry about that.

Without thinking too much about it we may have started something fairly awful. There is an app for iPhone that will add a UFO (Unidentified Flying Objects), or aliens to photos. That sounded like a lot of fun, and it was less than a dollar. We jumped at the chance. Soon we were snapping photos, left and right, front and back, up, down, side to side, three, four, five dimensions (Darkness fears the dawning of the Age of Aquarius), sorry, we got a little caught up in the distant past there.  Soon, we had the whole city covered in eerie, menacing flying saucers, and creepy, malevolent aliens. It was a gas.

Soon, though, we realized we had been duped. The app we purchased was actually a portal leading to the far reaches of the universe. We had unwittingly unleashed a terrible alien army on our city. Our guilt was overwhelming, crushing.

Good people, and some who weren't probably all that good, were being carted off to an unimaginable fate. Perhaps they were being sold into slavery, or put in zoos, or made into housepets. Maybe they were made into servants, or used for bait, or put in mazes, and their paths were scrutinized, and recorded as part of a large, government funded experiment to find the best way to solve a maze. It really might not have been  so unimaginable, after all.

Blood curdling screams, filled with agony, and terror echoed from buildings. We felt awful.  Hiding in the basement, we covered the small, glass tile windows with foam insulation, cut from the countless ice chests that were abandoned down there. Well, we saved a few to keep the bologna, and beer cold, we aren't animals after all.

We sat there, with nothing but cold bologna (crackers, cheddar cheese, and spicy mustard, but those are staples) and beer for several days. Consumed by grief, torn apart by self loathing, filled with despair, we desperately sought a solution. We were running out of ice.

Then, out of nowhere, it hit us.  We emailed the App store and demanded a refund.  It took some bickering, and some threatening, but we got our 99 cents back.

Plus, it seems most of the commotion is finished outside. We assume everybody has been carted off, and the aliens have moved on to more populated places. This should really cut down on traffic, and lines in the supermarket. And, we have an extra buck to spend at the App store, and there is this cool ghost finder app, we can't wait.