Another chance, probably wasted, to save the world. Why do we bother?

Driving to work today we were behind a car that had personalized plates, with a purchased plate holder, and a bumper sticker.  So, in a couple of miles, driving about 70 miles an hour we learned that the woman driving the car was a fan (or graduate) of the local university, who liked to have fun, and was striving to be exceptional, and drove a Honda.  It was as though we were old friends.

We felt so connected to the woman in the Honda we started calling her Janet.  Everybody was excited to get the chance to follow such a dynamic, fun loving sports fan as Janet to work.  It would be a great way to start every day.

But, Bil, from accounting asked, "what if she just bought that stuff, what if it wasn't true?"

It was an epiphany, there was no truth in advertising for the back of a car.  For all we knew the woman in the Honda was a slothful, blissfully sub average, party killing, wet blanket who despised the local university.  It might have been a sham, we felt betrayed.

But it led to a conversation at the morning new product meeting.  What if we had to advertise our true character and emotional states on the backs of our cars.  Wouldn't the world be a much saner, safer place if you knew what the other people were really feeling.

With that in mind we would like to introduce;

THE LIFE EXPLAINED HONEST END OF CAR STICKER SYSTEM.

Everyday is different, everyday you are different, one adhesive, vinyl sheet espousing some emotional cliche cannot possibly convey the evolution, and changing condition of a person as diverse and wonderful as you, trust us.

Using a hook and loop fastener this system will allow the application of almost any state of being you can imagine.  We are constantly adding new sentiments to the catalog, there is something for everyone, everyday.  In a few seconds you are on your way to work, and the world will understand you a little better.  Not a bad way to start the day, is it?

Why settle for canned, pat, trite generalizations when you can cover the range of potential possibilities.  Humanity is diverse, wonderful, and slightly (or completely) psychotic.  A car should reflect that.

Act now, and check out our complete line of "Emotional Response Stimuli Conductors" to let the world know how you are feeling, every damn day.  It is your right, it is your privilege, it is your duty.  And your friends, coworkers, and fellow commuters will thank you.

We are getting ready to introduce our Mass Transit Line soon so all of you bus, and train riders start hounding city officials to loosen up the purse strings, and shell out the small pile of cash to install the Early Warning Mood System.  It will make it so much easier to choose the correct subway car, or bus.

Another story about my drive to work, when will the madness end!

Today, during the drive to work, a pickup, a large pickup, cut me off, it just oozed into the small opening between me and the car I was trying to stay far enough away from that we could both stop and not collide.  But, as is the case with so many ambitions this one was short lived, because now this pickup was so close to both cars we probably looked like one long vehicle.  On the tail gate of this pickup was a a bumper sticker, it was small, with stylish text and would have been almost impossible to read had it not been for the proximity.
Thank goodness we were that close, though, because  the message rang loud and true.  Watch out for motorcycles, they are much smaller than a car, easily disappearing into a blind spot.  Plus, the very openness that makes them so appealing also leaves the rider vulnerable, and at great risk for personal injury.  I vowed to be so careful, a good citizen of the highway.

Finally, the monstrous pickup pulled into a gas station, looking at the size of the truck and considering the driving habits of the operator, this was probably pretty common.  And the stoplight just ahead turned green, the freeway was the next left, things were looking up, when this lime green Volkswagen pulled out in front of me, and went slow enough the light changed back to red.  This did offer an opportunity to read the bumper sticker.

It was perfectly logical, bicyclists have rights as well.  Bicycles are completely environmentally friendly, and heart healthy.  It is only smart to take their rights into consideration while driving.  "Share the Road" was going to become my new mantra, learn it. live it, love it.  Everyday, I would keep my eyes open for all of my two wheeled road companions.  A happy relationship, founded on mutual respect and inspired by bumper stickers.

Finally, on the freeway, not many bicycles to worry about out here, but keeping a weather eye for motor cycles, it was my duty.  Also, trying to avoid collisions with cars and trucks as well, it seems wise, maybe I should make a bumper sticker about that.  (Note to self, look into artwork for "avoid all accidents" and research production costs, and potential profit)  My exit is just ahead, when a Prius eases into the lane ahead of me, and I am forced to slow way down, this close to my destination, no point in crashing now.  But, I do get a good look at the bumper sticker.

How true, they are everywhere, and it is our responsibility to not run over them.  They are scurrying across streets, exposed to the elements, while we ride imperiously immune in cars, air conditioners or heaters keeping us comfortable, rain and snow held at bay.  We are like gods, and it is our duty to be beneficent, not vengeful, kind and patient, not mean and spiteful.  I am a changed man, this is like an epiphany, a rebirth.  I will watch for all of God's children.

At the next light, I notice a young man, sporting a mohawk, a lot of facial piercings and ill fitting clothes, his t-shirt says, "skate boarders have rights, too," amen brother!  While driving I see a lot of skate boarders in the streets , they have rights.  And joggers, and walkers pushing baby strollers, in the street deserve some respect as well.  They shouldn't be limited to the artificial constraints of the side walk, the street is for everyone.

On the way home a sign warns, "deer crossing" I'll be careful, another sign, a short distance away, says, "Slow down, children playing."  Ok, good advice. "Park Entrance"  "School Zone" "Baby on Board" all of these are cautionary tales, driving is a terrible, terrifying, awful burden.   And rest assured,  Life Explained Nation, I will watch for every one, you are in safe hands now.  But, if you want to post a new bumper sticker to remind me that is not a bad idea, I can't think of everything.