The Holidays.

There is a lot of riding on Christmas. Financial solvency, sprititual fulfillment, connecting, sharing, expensive, flashy displays of affection, all wrapped in festive paper with a neat bow. It is almost more than one day should have to bear.

I attended a Catholic school. One cold, bleak December day, the halls filled with green and red decorations, trees, bells, big white construction paper snowflakes, all in fevered anticipation of the coming winter break. Our religion teacher, a priest of unusual candor and a refreshing lack of pretense, told us that if you were a Christian, a true believer, the big holiday was Easter, when He died and arose and provided absolution for all of our sins. It was a matter of fact reply to a question I can’t remember. But, in a room full of high schoolers nobody really cared. And, today I don’t really see any proof. 

It was easy to understand his reasoning, then and it is now. But, just like a room full of high schoolers, nobody really cares about which holiday has more profound spiritual overtones. People go crazy for Christmas. Traffic is wild, even grocery shopping takes a sinister turn during the Christmas season. Goodwill towards men is a lovely platitude, but it has no real utility when sour cream is on sale and there are only two left on the shelf. Every man for himself, only the strong survive. We will just see who wants the sour cream more, damnit. Merry Christmas, loser.

Even in high school I was not sure of all the teachings and dogma of a church. As I aged and more of the practices, the real practices, of so many different faiths splashed across headlines and television screens I drifted further from the way. It isn’t that I think religion is bad, I just worry about the people who interpret the meaning. As an explanation for life it is wonderful, not as dramatic as mythology, but just as believable.  

Believing is as individual as gift giving. No matter how you choose to worship, or not worship is ok with me. No matter what you are celebrating this season I am happy for you. I am spending the day with my family, and I will say a silent prayer of thanks, thanks for my family, thanks for the smiles of my sons, which are still immeasurable treasures, thanks for the love and affection of my wife, the greatest gift I have ever received. Thanks for our health, even though one of us is decidedly under the weather. And thanks to anybody who took the time to read this, to you I am particularly grateful.

Happy Holidays to all of you.  

Well, that was easy.

In many ways Donald Trump's appeal is obvious. He has, through a series of tweets,angry speeches and absent minded interviews absolved Americans from all responsibility.  Nothing is our fault. Recessions, high prices, unemployment, all caused by the currency machinations of foreign governments or unfair trade agreements, or manipulative Canadian dairy farmers. But, we are not to blame. And he is going to come in and save us all. Through tweets, missile attacks, bluster, bully and bravado he is going to right all of the wrongs. 

The ultimate welfare state, just sit back and Papa Trump will make everything right again. Don't worry, all the jobs are coming back, coal will be dug, and burned, West Virginia will be saved. Automobiles will roll off assembly lines, Detroit will be saved. And you won't have to do a thing.

In one magic tweet he will cut taxes, increase defense spending, reign in North Korea and bring peace to the Middle East. All while strengthening the values of the American people. Without any help from you, you just take it easy, you have been through enough already.

Health care, you won't need health care, the President will make sure you don't get sick. It is all that clean air and fresh water that the EPA has been pushing down everybody's throat that's making everybody sick. That will not be a problem anymore, the Pres will see to that. You don't need to lift a finger.

All of this time everybody thought it would take hard work and industry to reach the next level of American industry, to carve out the passage to the next page of history but it was as easy as electing a game show host. Who knew? I will make some popcorn, you bring the drinks and we can watch it together.

Another chance, probably wasted, to save the world. Why do we bother?

Driving to work today we were behind a car that had personalized plates, with a purchased plate holder, and a bumper sticker.  So, in a couple of miles, driving about 70 miles an hour we learned that the woman driving the car was a fan (or graduate) of the local university, who liked to have fun, and was striving to be exceptional, and drove a Honda.  It was as though we were old friends.

We felt so connected to the woman in the Honda we started calling her Janet.  Everybody was excited to get the chance to follow such a dynamic, fun loving sports fan as Janet to work.  It would be a great way to start every day.

But, Bil, from accounting asked, "what if she just bought that stuff, what if it wasn't true?"

It was an epiphany, there was no truth in advertising for the back of a car.  For all we knew the woman in the Honda was a slothful, blissfully sub average, party killing, wet blanket who despised the local university.  It might have been a sham, we felt betrayed.

But it led to a conversation at the morning new product meeting.  What if we had to advertise our true character and emotional states on the backs of our cars.  Wouldn't the world be a much saner, safer place if you knew what the other people were really feeling.

With that in mind we would like to introduce;

THE LIFE EXPLAINED HONEST END OF CAR STICKER SYSTEM.

Everyday is different, everyday you are different, one adhesive, vinyl sheet espousing some emotional cliche cannot possibly convey the evolution, and changing condition of a person as diverse and wonderful as you, trust us.

Using a hook and loop fastener this system will allow the application of almost any state of being you can imagine.  We are constantly adding new sentiments to the catalog, there is something for everyone, everyday.  In a few seconds you are on your way to work, and the world will understand you a little better.  Not a bad way to start the day, is it?

Why settle for canned, pat, trite generalizations when you can cover the range of potential possibilities.  Humanity is diverse, wonderful, and slightly (or completely) psychotic.  A car should reflect that.

Act now, and check out our complete line of "Emotional Response Stimuli Conductors" to let the world know how you are feeling, every damn day.  It is your right, it is your privilege, it is your duty.  And your friends, coworkers, and fellow commuters will thank you.

We are getting ready to introduce our Mass Transit Line soon so all of you bus, and train riders start hounding city officials to loosen up the purse strings, and shell out the small pile of cash to install the Early Warning Mood System.  It will make it so much easier to choose the correct subway car, or bus.

Saving the world one language at a time

This post is going to be a little unusual, a little more serious.  Recently, a friend moved to Germany, I am not sure why, but she was living in Scotland, originally from the American South, and somehow she ended up, by choice, in Germany.  People can be so unpredictable.   But, that is not what this is about, anyway.  What this is about is hope, possibilities, and a chance for the future.

While still a child I remember reading, with horror, the eye witness accounts of the genocide in Cambodia.  Today, we are inundated with reporting of the brutality of African warlords and their child armies.  And, I have been taught enough history to know that this is not abnormal.  Pick almost any era and there was more than enough savagery to go around.  It was business as usual, the march of progress, those who could, did, without reservation, to those powerless to stop them.  It seems that humankind is hell bent on self immolation, and all that is lacking is the means, and that is not really lacking, it is only limited, temporarily to the biggest of the the lunatics in charge of the asylum.  Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether* with nuclear weaponry.

What does this have to do with an American\Scottish expatriate living in Germany?   Probably not too much, but, maybe it should.

She talks often about going places with her "friends."  When asked where she had made all of these friends in such a short time.  she explained that mostly, they are from a German class she is taking.  Her friends come from all over the world.  And they get along famously, having fun, sharing, enjoying each other.  They have barbecues, and go to festivals, and since they are in Germany sometimes they have beer and bratwurst together.

Here is a group of individuals, from different parts of the world, whose only connection seems to be wanting to learn German, and, live in Germany (none of them probably moved there just to learn German).  Somehow, they have formed the bonds of friendships, bonds of community and mutual respect.  And, they seem to have fun together, and though they drift in and out of each others lives they are replaced by fresh, new faces, and still remembered fondly, and that seems amazing.

If it is possible for this microcosm of society to pull off such a feat of friendship why can't the larger world, and those entrusted with its care?  Why do we have to spend so much time thinking about, and emphasizing our differences?  Why can't we all "try to learn German together"?

Would that be too much to ask of the people in charge, "the suits running the store"?  It has benefited my friend, and her friends, wouldn't we all benefit from something like that?  I know, it is silly to try to change the world, a single person can accomplish nothing.  But, what if we start a movement, the "Life Explained Learning German Movement."

Maybe that is where we should start, maybe language is the key.  If we all try to learn together we can come to understand that there is not that much separating us.   Maybe I'm a dreamer, a hopeless idealist, but we should try to think up something, (I'm open to suggestions) as the man said "we can all sink, or we can all float, because we're all in the same big boat."**

*"The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether."  Edgar Allen Poe
** "One World."  Written by Sting.