A new choice for Election 2016

Recently there was some online conversation suggesting that I, Tim, the founder of Life Explained, would make a viable third party candidate for president. In fact, we went even further and decided I would make a good president, maybe even a great president.

So, vote for me and the drinks are free. We could take the nation to new places, provided we can get Canada and Mexico to cooperate.

Having researched the problems facing this country it is clear that almost all of them could be solved with the liberal application of cash. Money is the key.

Vote Early and Vote Often.

Most presidents leave office with a tidy little nest egg, or at least some pocket money, and then they get filthy rich giving lectures, making appearances, shaking hands, and being the ex-president. It is one of the highest paying jobs out there.

As leader of the free world you meet a lot of people with a serious supply of cash. Huge piles of money, and after you retire you can ask them for some of it. "I will speak to your board of directors for an obscene amount of moolah." And they will write you a check. It is a beautiful system.

Since I am not really interested in being all that rich (as long as I can pay my bills and afford an
occasional new app I am happy) I will negotiate a deal with all of those well moneyed people to give the government the money now and I will give the speeches later. Using this Future Applied Money Earnings (FAME) I will balance the budget.

Not only will I balance the budget, I will increase military spending, cut taxes to nothing, improve subsidies for the poor and needy. Improve the infrastructure, schools, hospitals, and libraries. And I will have enough left over to buy the first round.

I will send some coin to the Islamic state and when they find out how nice it is to be wealthy they will come around to our way of thinking. Capitalism is a lot more attractive to people with money.

So, the choice is clear, the old way of thinking, if you want to call it thinking, provided by the Clinton Empire, the bellicose, gaseous, raving of the Trumpster, or the calm, refreshing Life Explained approach. You decide, but don't be stupid about it.

Act now, cabinet level positions are filling fast.

Another day, another candidate

Ohio Governor John Kasich is kind of announced he is going to announce his candidacy for the Presidency on July 21st. No real surprise there, almost everybody in the country, except Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, is campaigning for the Republican nomination. Mr. Kasich's announcement may come as a surprise to the rest of the country, but in Ohio everybody knows, the press is reporting on the coming event regularly.

Governor Kasich's intentions are probably widely known.  It seems the only thing elected officials can keep secret are the myriad additions to spending bills and budgets. Additionally, the man has been traveling to Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina. All of these are probably wonderful places to visit, but the coincidence is too enormous to overlook.

Which begs the question, why wait to make his announcement, is this an attempt to make a flashy entrance by being fashionably late? If everybody who pays attention already knows what advantage can be gained from waiting? Isn't he afraid all of the good sources of monetary contribution will be taken? 

Honestly, how much money can be left? Look at the fund raising figures for the real candidates, it is incredible. Running for president can be like a license to print money. Or more accurately, like a license to have other people print money and hand it over, in heaping piles. Most people can't even understand the wealth raised and spent during a presidential election cycle. I can't, anyway.

According to reports any candidate who wants to be taken seriously will need to raise over 100 million dollars. That is a lot of coin, friend. If I were walking down the street and found a $20.00 bill that would be a big thing, I would feel pretty lucky.  This is like they walked down the street and found a $20.00 bill 5 million times. How lucky is that? and this does not even include Super PACs, and all of the Inferior PACs, who have a little cash, too.

What do they do with all of that money? A lot of it is spent attempting to convince voters that a chosen candidate, no matter what anybody else has to say, is the least objectionable. "Make no mistake, you might be sorry if you vote for our guy, but not as sorry as you could be, if you catch our drift." 

In a way it is similar to the old "protection" scheme made popular by television depictions of organized crime. "Accidents happen, we just want to minimize your risk." Or maybe it is like insurance, I will think about it and let you know.

Anyway, John Kasich is no fool when it comes to politics, I'm afraid that job is left to the voters. He has a plan, and it involves money, huge piles of money. Most of it used to belong to someone else. But, when he announces, please act surprised, even Governors have feelings, you know.

Announcing his candidacy, Dr. Dawg.

We are on the eve of the Presidential Primaries.  Donald Trump is the latest to join the fray. With a big, splashy announcement, using Neil Young music, the theme from the Phantom of the Opera, and an escalator, he jumped into the middle of the fight in a way only a seasoned reality television "actor" can.  Who will be next, and how will they top that, the anticipation is almost lethal.

We, here at Life Explained, would like to see more people follow Mr. Trump's lead.  It seems to us that substance has long been abandoned, and flair, and drama are the new trump card (please forgive the pun, it was too easy to resist).  

Campaign managers should be replaced by directors, and speech writers should be supplemented with special effects studios.  We realize that we are not going to glean any useful information from any serious candidate, who is too worried about offending anyone to speak truthfully.  If we can't have information, and facts we may as well have some entertainment.

It would solve a lot of problem.  Voter apathy and low turnouts at the polling place would be replaced with swarming, mobbing, adoring fans, willing to camp overnight, on a sidewalk to cast a vote for the star candidate of their choice.

With that in mind we would like to announce Dr. Dawg for president. Beta version, only.

This is the rough draft, and will be polished, as soon as we have a little more coffee, and receive a few more large donations, from wealthy, helpful donors.  Or, just feel like cleaning it up a bit.  Stay tuned for further improvements.