A note about the week that was,

Sunday was our first day back from vacation. Monday was the 4th of July. Tuesday was my first day back at work. It is always hard to go back to work. But, this week was murder. There were inbound shipments, three of them in three days. Which is more than my tiny warehouse can manage. So, we are filled to the roof with boxes of product.

On Monday there was an item on a national morning show about one of our products. A spatula that is shaped like an American flag. It comes in different colors, three of which are red, white, and (you are never going to get this one) blue. The designer passed away recently from cancer and proceeds are being donated to research to find a cure for this terrible disease.

But, when you combine the patriotic imagery, the opportunity to support such a noble cause and the relatively small cost of the spatulas you create a hurricane of need, the perfect storm of opportunity. Orders poured in, buckets of orders. Which is why I may have missed posts from my favorite group of bloggers in the world, you guys.

We were buried under orders. Combined with the shipments it was an excruciating week. A relentless, harried, untrammeled barrage of work. Somehow we managed to tread water long enough we didn't drown, and now there is light at the end of the tunnel, or a train barreling down the tracks ready to crush our dreams of a pleasant weekend. Either way will be all right, change is good.

A quick note regarding water. Until my recent vacation in the lovely town of Holden Beach, I had always thought the ocean was this crystal clear, window to another world. A transparent look into the lives of marine animals.

Which made me wonder how people allowed a shark to bite them at all. In my fantasy you would see a shark swimming hungrily toward you, and have a few seconds to plan your move and get away free.

I, of course, had plotted mine well ahead of time. It was a Kiki Vandewehge juke move, like when he was in college and still able to pull move quickly. I would make the shark think I had panicked and was heading for deeper water. At the last minute I would turn and sprint safely to shore. Laughing all the way.

Turns out you can hardly see your feet in the pounding waves. Whenever the tide would drag something across my foot, a shell, a piece of seaweed, anything at all I would make a mad dash to the shore, hoping for the best. And, it worked. I managed to avoid sharks for 7 straight days. I laugh in your face, Mr. Apex Predator.

Now, I need to get back to work, we aren't home and dry yet.

You need to get in on this.

People who know me will say if there is one thing that interests me it is technology, and predatory animals, and using technology to keep an eye on predatory animals.  That might be more than one thing, but people I know have little use for math, or the rigid confines of proper vocabulary, we are rebels.  So, when I read on PRI, (Public Radio International, yes, I read the radio, on Facebook, did I mention our rebellious nature) that I could download an App to track sharks it was a mad dash to the iTunes store.

Now I am following Lydia, a Great White Shark, as she travels across the Atlantic Ocean.  Not like a

"I think we may be following this one a little too close."

Private Eye following an unfaithful spouse to a seedy motel where he will drink tepid, foul tasting coffee, and eat peanut butter sandwiches with his Canon Rebel DSLR equipped with a Canon EF EF 100 -400mm Telephoto lens (on sale now at Amazon, don't miss this deal, it is crazy cheap) in hand, waiting for a few fuzzy photos.  But, not exactly like following someone on Twitter, either, though that would be closer.  But, I can open an app on my phone (iPhone 5, soon to be outdated and will be offered at very reasonable prices, by everyone) and see where she has been.

Apparently, this shark has surprised the scientists at Massachusetts Division of Marine Fisheries, because she is swimming around in the ocean.  No, I am only kidding, what is surprising to them is that she seems to be crossing the Atlantic Ocean (apparently they feel sharks prefer coastal waters), and may be on her way to Ireland, perhaps arriving just in time for Saint Patrick's Day.  Which shows a remarkable sense of timing, and current events.

According to the article (The PRI article about the Shark) tagging Great White Sharks is rare and difficult.  It seems that someone on the boat needs to distract the shark, maybe with a card trick, or some sleight of hand (sharks are suckers for magic tricks, but who isn't) and another person needs to sneak up behind the shark and stick a tracking device to it's back using industrial strength marine adhesive.  That sort of glue is so caustic and irritating that it was difficult to find volunteers.  No, I just made that up.

There are many difficulties and it is potentially dangerous for the shark, but these good people are trying to save this majestic creature.  They work long hours under trying and difficult conditions, all in the name of conservation, science, and education. I think everybody should show their gratitude for the difficult work by reading the article, and downloading the app, it is available, for Apple as well as Android devices at the OCEARCH.org website, here (Try it, you will be the coolest person you know.).

Imagine, at the touch of a button, (is that what you call it on capacitive touch screen, who cares, not us rebels, that is obvious) you can see where dozens of sharks are, and where they have been.  There are worse ways to use a smart phone, you know?

Technology, a mixed blessing.

Since we, here at Life Explained, are sick of this awful winter, and the increasingly invasive, and oppressive Polar Vortex we are going to bring you news from the Southern Hemisphere, where gorgeous, beautiful summer warmth is the flavor of the day.

Using technology in unique ways to save lives, and avoid disfiguring injury is always a noble pursuit.  But, the government researchers in Western Australia have come up with a very unique idea to blend new ideas with the threat from ancient creatures.

Fitting more than 300 sharks with transmitters that will send "tweets" when they approach a beach.  This message will contain information needed to assess the threat including the shark's size, breed, and approximate location.  Technology is an amazing thing, and when information can be used to add safety to everyday living that can only be considered a plus.

Unfortunately, technology can be a double edged sword, and soon the sharks had hacked into their transmitters and were using them to tweet to each other.  "@HammerheadSue, #GreatBuffet off New South Wales, Bring ur appetite."  And, the swimmers were disappearing by the dozens.

But, humans know a little about technology, and began subscribing to the twitter feeds of these noble creatures.  There would be drove of spectators standing on the beach watching the sharks swim around the empty waters, looking longingly at all of the tasty morsels waiting patiently on the shore.

It did not take long before the sharks understood the true utility of this equipment.  Most notably, luring innocent, unsuspecting beach goers in to the water.  "#FreeFosters (Australian for beer) 25 meters from shore," or, "#machoguy help, beautiful woman drowning, come quick."  People are powerless to resist these sorts of gambits, and were being eaten as fast as they could look at their smart phones.

Soon, sharks were starting to pack on the pounds, and several of them had to start taking medicine to reduce their cholesterol and blood pressure.  Sometimes, the benefits of technology can be a boon, sometimes it is a curse.

But, you don't become an apex predator by being stupid.  Sharks started using the transmitters to order green leafy salads and vegetable trays, with a light vinaigrette, some of them are have opened Amazon
accounts and are receiving work out videos, and diet cookbooks.

This has caused an unexpected explosion in the Australian economy, and countries all over the world are rushing internet capable devices to top level predators, hoping for a similar surge.  You might want to remember this next time you are camping and get a text message asking you to bring a bottle of water into the bushes for "#wearytraveler."

Tune in tomorrow when we will discuss the hazards using venomous snakes to process your tax returns, sure they work cheap, but is the angry disposition, and ill temper worth the savings.  It is if you are lucky enough to be audited.