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Friday, February 17, 2012

A Revolution of the Well Off.


Long assumed to be the silent minority, the wealthy have started to be a more vocal concerning their needs.  No longer content to sit in the boardroom watching over their fiefdom or ride in pampered, secluded style behind the tinted, bullet proof windows of their hideously expensive limousine, to the private jet waiting to rocket them away to a secluded resort, the extremely wealthy are now demanding their share of the American Dream.  “Why should poor people get all the help?”  Is the battle cry of the Wealth is OK with Us Liberation Army.

According to a recent survey of the top 1% of the US, when measured in net worth, a full 78% of those who responded demanded that corporate welfare include free lunches. “And not just that crap they serve to the common folk in the cafeteria” demanded one billionaire who asked to have his identity kept secret, because he did not want his wife to find out he was not eating the healthy lunch she packed for him each day.  “Look, the government gives free lunches to poor kids in school all the time, what do they do to generate jobs, how does that stimulate investment?”

Another key component of this Anti-Anti Wealth Movement is the use of public defenders in antitrust lawsuits and insider trading cases.  Since they feel it is normally the government “stirring up all the trouble when a guy is just trying to make a quick buck.  How is that different than when the DA is prosecuting a poor guy for armed robbery?”  When it is pointed out that the “poor guy” can not afford an attorney the response is “oh yeah, play the wealth card, why don’t ya?”  When it is pointed out that often public defenders are overwhelmed with case loads, overworked to the point of not having the time to prepare for trial and untrained to handle the intricacies of SEC regulations and the complexities involved in the legal maneuvering of corporate law, the answer is always, “the Government will just have to pony up the money for better lawyers for us. Hey, they started all of this, anyways.”

Some of the poorer members of this elite class of earners asked to have government subsidies for Country Club memberships.  No longer happy at the Country Clubs that allow “just about anybody, even congress people”, they are looking upward, even it is out of their price range.  “Hey, we pay taxes, a little, at least most of us”, explained one wealthy bank executive who requested privacy, claiming to be close friends with several people who had “heaps of dough, and they don’t know I am living on the edge.” Of course they demanded that it be completely invisible to the other members.  “Imagine the horror of finally teeing up at the Yellowstone Club and having the other members of your foursome find out good old Uncle Sam paid your way.  Even your caddy would die of shame.”

Taxes are the main irritant to the wealthiest of America.  Long have they considered their share of the tax burden unfair.  It is a widely held belief among the wealthy that tax laws are weighted heavily in the favor of the poor.  They argue for a tax rate that will cover the federal budget.  What they propose is to take the budget divide it by the number of citizens and everybody sends in a check for their share.  If there is not enough, another check, too much, give it to the wealthy, to invest in the future of the country.

It looks to be a long, protracted battle, but the wealthy say they will not give up until they have the same rights as everyone else.  They just want to be treated as equals, equals with a lot of money, power, and superiority.  “We are tired of being misunderstood.”