This just in; It seems, due to the cut backs caused by sequestration, and the furloughs generously provided by the good folks in Washington DC (suggested motto, "Cooperation, compromise, sure as soon as I get my way") a top secret, military laboratory, somewhere in Southern California was being guarded by the hope that people were really honest, deep down inside. Maybe, maybe not, but it is obvious that "Huge Alien Spiders" are not, as exposed in the new documentary "Big Ass Spider" soon to be released, to a fearful nation.
This little fellow here busted out, at the first opportunity, and laid waste to Los Angeles, which has had it's share of problems ever since the Rams left for Kansas City, and the Raiders left for Oakland, even though the Raiders left Oakland to come to Los Angeles in the first place, so leaving and going to Oakland is kind of a misrepresentation of the facts, really, they were just kind of visiting, almost a probationary thing. And who can blame them for wanting to go, considering the the enormous alien spider keeping, top secret, military laboratories in the area. Not exactly a source of civic pride.
Then, there is the awful Los Angeles traffic, which is not improved by the addition of a gargantuan Spider. We don't know the traffic laws that prevailed on the spider's home world, but it is obvious he is not the most courteous commuter. Smashing cars, and knocking over buildings clearly contributes to gridlock. According to Art Shell, who coached the Raiders for most of their time in Los Angeles, "man driving through that town and avoiding a Giant Alien Spider would just be awful. I'm glad we left when we did. Darn government shutdown anyway. Of course, if it ate a few of those skateboarders, that wouldn't be so bad, they were everywhere."
Week three of the shutdown, and it is easy to see the geometric progression of the problems, elected officials pointing fingers and talking endlessly on television, pundits explaining who is "impacted" by the shut down, interviews, endless commentary, decreased services for the electorate, and giant spiders ravaging metropolitan areas. A congressional insider who requested anonymity told Life Explained "these kinds of problems are not limited to the City of Angels, either. There are politicians everywhere, you poor, unfortunates."
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.