Business is pretty good these days. But, there were some lean years, sales were slow, money was tight, and as a company we were scrambling for ways to stay afloat. We tried turning down the heat, dimming the lights, and people were asked to wait until there were several passengers before using the elevator, kind of a car pool lane for the lift. Briefly, there were talks about not providing coffee, but hey, we are not animals.
One of the suggestions floated was to hire illegal aliens, they work cheap, they labor night and day, and are dedicated, fearless, single minded beings bent on self preservation.
Things were going well. We had a real sweat shop thing going, a facility full of laborers, toiling night and day, without break, for laughably low wages. Things were beginning to look up.
Sure, a few people vanished, unexpectedly, without a trace, but that is part of running a company, right? But, when that monstrous, little beast broke out of Bob's, the Head of Human Resources, chest at the weekly staff meeting. Just popped right out, scampered across the table and vanished down the stair well, and into the janitor's closet, and none of us were going in there, it is dusty, messy and smells of disinfectant.
No one really liked the Human Resource guy, anyway, always going on about "labor laws," and "compensation," and "employee benefits," but when that slimy little thing ran through a dozen of the local bakery's finest ruining every donut that was too much. Chocolate covered, cream filled fried gifts from the gods, ruined! We quickly fired every last alien in the place.
It was time to evaluate our hiring practices. We settled on humans, they cost more, but they respect the donut.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Saved some money, but it might have been a mistake.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.