We are beginning to gain an advantage in the battle against the Polar Vortex. It is not easy, and every additional degree Fahrenheit is a small victory. But, there have been unavoidable, and inexplicable, changes here at Life Explained.
For one thing, Doctor Dawg grew a much thicker than normal Winter Coat. Yes, it looks a little unnatural, but we believe this to be a normal, Darwinian response to obscene, horrible, external stimuli. Very similar to the way the Chinese developed an affinity for masonry construction around 220 BC in response to Europeans stealing their ideas for noodles and gun powder.
It was more shocking when Doctor Dawg grew a Winter Tie to go with his heavier than normal winter coat. We think this may be a natural response triggered by unusually cold temperatures lasting almost forever, and management cancelling "Casual Friday," just because someone drank the last of the coffee and didn't make another pot. Either way, after hours of extensive research we think this is the first non-conditioned dress code response to an external event, in evolutionary history. This is probably an example of "Disruptive Selection," where two extreme values become most common, in this case the coat and tie. Though, he does look pretty sharp.
Most shocking, however, was when Doctor Dawg grew a Winter Bow Tie, and Winter Glasses to match his heavier than usual winter coat. Our biological geneticist believes this is a direct response to the article about how girls go nuts over brainy intellectual types in the magazine in the break room. This would be the process of "Adaptation," where an organism acquires traits that help ensure survival. In this case being able to find a date for the company party in lovely REDACTED FOR SECURITY REASONS! Anyway, it is an exciting time for science, and we are happy to be on the cutting edge, look for our article soon to be published in several high falutin' science magazines.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
It's been a long winter.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.