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Thursday, January 30, 2014

It's been a long winter.

We are beginning to gain an advantage in the battle against the Polar Vortex.  It is not easy, and every additional degree Fahrenheit is a small victory.  But, there have been unavoidable, and inexplicable, changes here at Life Explained.

For one thing, Doctor Dawg grew a much thicker than normal Winter Coat.  Yes, it looks a little unnatural, but we believe this to be a normal, Darwinian response to obscene, horrible, external stimuli.  Very similar to the way the Chinese developed an affinity for masonry construction around 220 BC in response to Europeans stealing their ideas for noodles and gun powder.

It was more shocking when Doctor Dawg grew a Winter Tie to go with his heavier than normal winter coat.  We think this may be a natural response triggered by unusually cold temperatures lasting almost forever, and management cancelling "Casual Friday," just because someone drank the last of the coffee and didn't make another pot.  Either way, after hours of extensive research we think this is the first non-conditioned dress code response to an external event, in evolutionary history.  This is probably an example of "Disruptive Selection," where two extreme values become most common, in this case the coat and tie.   Though, he does look pretty sharp.

Most shocking, however, was when Doctor Dawg grew a Winter Bow Tie, and Winter Glasses to match his heavier than usual winter coat.  Our biological geneticist believes this is a direct response to the article about how girls go nuts over brainy intellectual types in the magazine in the break room.  This would be the process of "Adaptation," where an organism acquires traits that help ensure survival.  In this case being able to find a date for the company party in lovely REDACTED FOR SECURITY REASONS!  Anyway, it is an exciting time for science, and we are happy to be on the cutting edge, look for our article soon to be published in several high falutin' science magazines.