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Monday, January 27, 2014

The Hazards of the Winter Commute.


Today's commute was particularly challenging.  There was, of course, the normal winter problems, little snarls, that add time and a bit of complication to the daily drive, icy ramps, and bridges, and slow drivers who should have stayed home (if you can't handle a little snow take the bus, right?) and suicidal maniacs who drive as if they are being pursued by demons from the deepest, blackest pits, frozen icy patches be damned.  

Compounding these normal traffic hurdles were the ice bergs forming around sound some of the slower moving vehicles, and the roaming, marauding polar bears, who obviously mistook the off black Honda Civic in front of me for a seal, and were ripping the car to pieces trying to get at the tasty morsels, nestled screaming and wailing, inside.  You know, stopping to help would have been a good idea, but after leaving the house kind of late, and the slow down on the ramp it was touch and go about getting to work on time.

You know, you really can't blame the polar bears, (one of whom distinctly said, "you know, they taste a lot like chicken.") bears hunt and eat, it's called survival.  However, those Eskimos could find a much better place than the freeway to build their igloos!  All of those whale remains are very slick on the Fifth Ave. Curve, it is a hazard, and someone should petition city council, someone who isn't so late for work, of course.

Well, I am almost at work, so stay warm, stay dry, and watch out for the wolves they are moving south along the freeway, following the caribou, it is really slowing down traffic.  A word to the wise, don't get out of the car to snap a few photos, ravenous, hunting wolf packs are not the best subjects for Instagram, and your loved ones will have trouble collecting your life insurance if you've been devoured.