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Thursday, February 6, 2014

More Trouble, I'm Afraid

In a very disturbing development, covered by Phys.org, it has been discovered that spiders can hunt in packs, and are cooperative while hunting and feeding.  Please see below.

Can Things Get Any Worse from Phys.org

They live in groups of "80 or more" and "share resources" during mealtimes.  Exactly what resources are we talking about here?

"Hey, Ollie, pass me the bordeaux, would you?"

"No, I am keeping it for later."

"You know mom said we were supposed to share resources?"

"Oh, OK."

And what is even more troubling "unrelated individuals frequently join the the nest and 'forage' with the group."  Soon, we will be overrun with armies of unrelated spiders, hunting in packs, like jackals.  Ignoring convention, and law enforcement, taking what they want, destroying what they don't.

With that much cooperation it is only a matter of time before some poor person finds himself wrapped in a spider web straight jacket while a gang of arachnids sits around a card table, drinking bourbon, smoking cigars, and playing black jack for the juiciest bits.

"Dangit, I always get stuck with the forearms."

It is probably a good thing this never-ending winter has settled in, I am sure it will take them a while to figure out how to start a fire, and mass produce winter clothing, that is warm, yet light and flexible enough to hunt in.  But, when they do, I will be here to let you know about it.