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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Let's hope they wait awhile.

Last night the sky was cloudless, and when I left for work this morning it was still dark, really dark.  The sky was an inky black blue, with thousands of little sparkles flickering everywhere.  If you looked carefully you could almost see the possibilities, but you had to look closely, and kind of quickly, because it was freezing.

There must have been millions of little lights, flashing their lovely little Morse Code messages.  "Hey, you are not alone."  At least I think that is what they were saying, it was too cold to write it down.  "dot, dot, dash, dash, dot."  And my Morse Code decryption skills were never that good, but you are free to try it tonight, and let me know if they are saying something else.  If it is "we are coming to destroy your planet, puny, helpless Earthlings" you don't need to tell me, I would just as soon not know.

But, what if they do come, just drop in to pay a visit, what then?  What will they see?  Honestly, if they travel across the terrible, immense vacuum of space and they show up here what would they think of this place?

"Greetings, good people of Earth, we come in peace."  Will be the message from the heavens.

"Great, welcome to our planet.  Let's set down and talk, as soon as we finish wiping these semi evolved, godless fools from the face of the Earth.  Then we can have a civilized discussion."

Moving on.

"Fantastic, we are so glad you are here.  And we would love to chat with you, as soon as we decide who we should allow into our country, and who we should kick the hell out.  Say, do you have the technology to build a very long fence?"


"Oh, it is so nice to see you, we will get together right after we take care of a few small problems involving infidels, and heretics.  You aren't an infidel, are you?"

And, more

"Hey, it is great to see you.  If you would let us finish marginalizing anybody who is different, and imprisoning those whose views are counter to what we accept as normal we can exchange ideas from our two great cultures, and both benefit from this most fortunate experience, I am sure you can learn so much from us.  Aren't you lucky?"

"Uh, thanks, but no."  Will be the next message from the heavens as the aliens throw their space ship in reverse and make haste away from our unfortunate little planet.

"By the way, we are going to bill you for the time and gasoline it took to this backward little planet.  We take most major credit cards, and cash, but don't even think about writing a check."
 Will be the last thing we hear from them until we get the invoice.

I am taking a collection to pay our bill to the aliens, don't hesitate to send a small donation, anything will help.