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Monday, July 28, 2014

Monday, Your Big Chance?

We, here at Life Explained, are going to start a new movement.  Starting now, next week at the latest, Monday is no longer going to be viewed as a curse, a despicable, reviled demonic visitor from the pits.  It is going to be welcomed as the gracious day that ushers in a beginning, a refreshing chance to start something beautiful.

Life does not often present mortals with opportunities for greatness, and Monday is the perfect chance to leave your co-workers, subordinates, and superiors in the vocational dust.  As they are holding their heads, praying for a quick end to a new day, you can embrace the challenge.  Charge into the midst of the chaos, powering through the doldrums, shining like a beacon of hope for all the company to follow.
Book 1 in the "Who needs 'em" series

Grab the biggest problem you can, wrestle it the floor, and make it plead for mercy, right in the entryway, so everybody can watch.  If sales are stagnant grab the phone, get some people on the hook, and sell some stuff, if production is flagging, grab some tools, some raw materials, and make something.  Rising transportation costs cutting into the bottom line, chewing up profits and spitting out mountains of rising debt, load some stuff up in your car, and make some deliveries. Remember, every little problem you solve is a chance to make an associate look incompetent, slow and foolish.

Use the first day of the week to rise several standard deviations above the mean.  As fellow employees trickle in, tales of two days of independence dripping from their paper coffee cups, look down your nose at them, turn your back and storm off, a trail of efficient, professional scorn settling slowly on their bewildered faces.  

Look, we just want to see you get ahead, that's all.  If the people who work with you can't see your potential that is their problem.  Don't forget our companion book, "Step all over the people your coworkers, it won't get you anywhere, but you will save a bundle on birthday gifts."