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Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Immigrants in the work place.

Not to scale.
It has been pretty hectic, here at Life Explained, the last several weeks.  Our efforts to develop the means to colonize mars are starting to bear fruit.  And the Life Explained Time Travel Division is really making progress, and great Italian food, as well.  Things are going surprisingly well considering how the government has cut funding to such vital research.  It is such a shame, it is to the point you can't trust an elected official at all.  Anyway, with all of this work we were in a real bind, staffing wise, and decided it was a good time to add a few people, employment wise.

And, like a gift from the heavens here came several illegal aliens looking for a job.  We called a meeting of the executive council and quickly decided hiring people who just showed up, looking for work, unsolicited was a fantastic bonus.  We wouldn't have to go through all of the "want ad posting, resume reading, interview conducting" turmoil.  It was great!

Not only were we saving some real moolah on ads, but since they were not registered citizens we wouldn't have all of those burdensome tax regulations, and forms, and reporting requirements.  Plus, anybody who had mastered intergalactic travel had to have some serious science chops, right?  Not necessarily.

Turns out they were a bunch of post grad dropouts from the far side of the Milky Way tearing around the universe looking for a little fun.  Unfortunately, they ran low on cash and had to take a temporary job until they had enough to move on down the line. Their ship was powered by a unique fuel, that could be synthesized from mixing Alka Seltzer and carbonated water.  But, it took a lot of each, and it takes a while, and some serious cash to gather that amount.

As scientists they were useless, but they could paint murals that changed with the moods of the rooms inhabitants, which is a handy thing when you work with a bunch of petulant, childish, temperamental egomaniacs who fly off the handle at the slightest provocation.  We should save a bundle in bandages, and antibiotic cream.

Also, with only rum, tequila, gin, seltzer water, cranberry juice and a few drops of the fuel for the space ship they could make the most delightful drink, an Intergalactic Red Devil.  After a few of those the mural in the kitchen would be rainbows, unicorns, and smiling stars.  People would be dancing in time and singing in tune.  Amazingly enough, no one ever had a hangover, at all.  Man, those were good drinks.

They have almost enough fuel for the next stage of their journey, and there is a pall around the top secret Life Explained headquarters.  They were fun, talented and energetic, breathing new life into a stodgy, old atmosphere, and we are going to miss them.  And, no matter how hard they tried to teach us nobody could mix up a Devil like they could, they were truly artists.