Without a Monday the week has been thrown into chaos. Days are crashing into each other, smashing up against nights, and things are looking bleak. There is no order, no sense, and there is a lawless, violent attitude. Wednesday, normally kind, polite, and considerate, actually pulled a knife on Tuesday night, and started forty five minutes earlier than was scheduled. Some clocks were so confused they stopped working, and formed a small militia with the intent of straightening out the whole mess.
These clocks stole a mass transit bus, drove it through the Week Day Police Barricade and smashed into the Office of Temporal Management (OTM, in government shorthand). Sadly, nobody was there, they had decided one day was not enough to celebrate the labor that had been performed over the course of the summer, the year, or all of history, they were not sure what period of labor was being honored on Labor Day. But, they were pretty certain it would take at least seven days to pay a proper tribute.
Since clocks have such linear thinking they were unsure how to proceed and milled about the offices, making coffee, answering phones, filling in forms, and filing them away. On Thursday the Superintendent of the Building of Reality Allocation where the OTM is located received a phone call complimenting the workers in that particular office. It was the first time anyone had ever said anything nice about anybody anywhere in the building. The caller actually said "my appointment went like clockwork, it started right on time, and a few ticks later I was on my way."
Now it was the Superintendent who was unsure how to proceed. After careful consideration, he issued an executive order firing everyone in the OTM. It was the only reasonable course of action, he knew that the other offices were still filled with people just putting in their time, and one office filled with efficiency and swiss watch precision was going to make the rest of the place look even worse.
On Monday they accidentally hired the entire vacationing staff to fill the office, clocks are back to keeping time, and waking people at godless, terrible hours, and things are back to normal, at least until Memorial Day.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Everything has a price.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.