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Saturday, September 13, 2014

Tis the season.

We have made it safely to the middle of September.  It was a bumpy ride, and there were no guarantees, but here we are.  It is time to prepare for the most joyous of seasons, a time of boundless giving, and receiving, a glorious, wonderful season of sharing, and caring.  Yes, it is almost time for the year end employee performance evaluation.

It is never too early to start getting an early jump on your superiors opinion of your abilities, assuming you haven't started already by performing solidly all year long, and who bothers with that.  All of that hard work, tireless, constant, endless work.  There is no need, either, with a few simple steps you can assure yourself a big boost on your payday bundle of joy.

According to Time Magazine the FBI Behavioral Unit has a remarkable recipe for building rapport with people (Hey, how about a little something, something for me).  Normally, these techniques are used to control lethal situations, and manipulate potentially dangerous people.  But, these steps can be successful when applied to an employer gripping tightly to corporate purse strings.

First step, "establish artificial time constraints."  Try something along the lines of "I think I can rush out and buy you a wonderful lunch, and hurry it back here,and still have plenty of time to wash and wax your car."  Supervisory personnel love subordinates who understand multi-tasking, and time management skills.

Next, "make sure your body language in sync."  Try crawling in on your hands and knees, and begging for a raise.  It shows you have respect for your employer.

Third, "speak slowly."  "I,   would,   love,   to,   paint,   your,   basement,   for,   you."

There are more, and we will get to these in future posts, but I need to run out and get a dozen donuts and take them over to my bosses house.  I hear the family is wild about glazed with sprinkles.