Inclement weather caused schools to be cancelled for two days last week. Since the gym where the miracle is scheduled to be performed is in a school building the physical section of the transformation of Tim will begin this week.
For those of you keeping score at home, the writing portion of the transformation has already begun. It is subtle, admittedly, but each time I put fingers to keyboard a conscious effort is made to add more, to change patterns, to bring more details to life. To those who have noticed, thanks, to those who haven't, well that is too bad, there will be a quiz, and that may spell big trouble. But, don't be too concerned, there is still time to repent.
Not going to the gym for the last week has given me the opportunity to research the use of various equipment. My wife asked if I were ready, and found an article for me to read, it was titled "Don't overdo it, and come home complaining because you are sore and aching." And it was written by my wife. Just kidding.
It was actually very helpful. It talked about using the various machines, and the benefits, and potential pitfalls of each. It was kind of eye opening, in that it was written for people over 50, which I am, and it made me realize that I am a complete dunderhead, (noun, informal; stupid person) when it came to all of these machines. They have all of these buttons, knobs, and gizmos (noun, informal; word used by dunderhead to describe a device he will never understand), none of which make sense. Some of them look like the cockpit on the space shuttle.
So, I have carefully researched my options, and am a much better informed consumer of gym services than I was at this time last week. I will walk into the gym this afternoon, head held high, and ask the attendant, who my wife assures me is a very nice young man, and is not likely to ridicule me (which means my wife probably briefed him, and he is prepared), how to operate the least intimidating looking machine I see. Eventually, the plan is to build a rapport with the attendant and have him show me how to operate all of the machines, and become a seasoned workout professional, rippling with sinewy muscle, exuding strength, and self confidence. But, that will take a while.
So, tomorrow, will be the first edition of the Great Transformation of Tim Newsletter! Don't forget to subscribe, you won't regret it, at least not very much. Hey, let me know if you have a workout resolution, or any self improvement goals for 2015. I would love to expand the newsletter.
Monday, January 12, 2015
It is time for a change, I really mean it this time, really.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.