We posted an ad for a new CEO last week, and the response has been overwhelming. People are lining up outside the office now, looking for an edge. Some carrying signs, "hire me, I am perfekt for the job," or "hire me, I have a degree in 'top secret organization management,'" or "hire me, I need a job, and I know where you live." Clearly, there are many strong candidates for the position. But, we have also been inundated with internal candidates as well. It seems everybody wants a chance to choose what to have for lunch.
Feeling it would be a mistake to overlook a choice that was already sucking up some of the payroll we started evaluating the prospects within.
We have always been an egalitarian group, and that isn't going to change. Everybody contributes to the success of our organization, and everybody has a stake in our continued growth, and everybody should get a say in a matter this important. So, we took all of the names of the people who expressed an interest in being the big kahuna, the wheel, the suit that runs the store, if you will, (oddly enough it was everybody in the whole company) and voted.
It was a close race, but in the end, it was a tie, everybody had one vote. At first we thought Dr, Dawg won, he had two votes. A recount revealed he had voted twice, though.
It didn't take long for that little trick to catch on and people were rushing to pens, paper and ballot box. The sound of pens, scribbling furiously, was almost unbearable, and the boxes were bulging, overflowing with scraps of paper, index cards, napkins, anything that a name could be written on.
We decided the best way to handle the promotion was an essay contest. "How I would handle authority, and the responsibility of being in control." Everybody turned in copies of the US Constitution, the Emancipation Proclamation, the Magna Carta. Good examples of the use of power. It was too hard to choose, we should have said it had to be original.
We thought about an arm wrestling contest, but Bob from the Department of Weight Lifting was too big. Which is kind of surprising, most of did not even know we had a Weight Lifting Department. A good executive would know these things, another reason to continue the search.
One idea that seemed plausible, taking turns, everybody would get to run the company for one day. We setup a rotation. Every day the CEO would be from a different department. We felt this was the fairest method, plus it would provide a fresh perspective daily.
On the first day, Bob, from Customer service sent the following email.
We are still looking for a CEO, and will continue our search. If you know anybody competent, have them contact us at TweettweetJohn@yahoo.com, or leave a comment with their qualifications, educations, and list of medications below.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
The Search Continues. Now Hiring part Deux.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.