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Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Jellyfish Free Vacation, Central Ohio.

Today we are going to discuss the ingratitude of the animal kingdom.  Of course kingdom might indicate some form of cooperation, or leadership, but that is clearly not the case, so for the sake of this post we are going to discuss the ingratitude of the animal post game riot.  We do a lot for animals, and they don't always appreciate the effort. 

Take for instance, global warming,  ok, not everybody agrees that global warming is real, or really our fault, but mostly that seems political, but, it is probably real, and we are probably to blame and we should accept that fact.  Of course, we should also accept the fact that if it is real, and we are to blame greed, selfishness, and the inertia of government, society and mankind in general will probably prevent any efforts to ameliorate the problems, and a solution, no matter how feasible, inexpensive, or painless will be ignored.  

Which is not to say we shouldn't try to discuss the issue, but we should be prepared for failure.  That is really the lot of our future, to scrimmage in endless debate over issues that should bring us together.  No matter how large the dilemma, no matter how important the problem there will always be some who will claim there is nothing.  We can always find the means to bicker, to see differences, but we can never see the similarities, it is sad, but what can you do?

Of course, global warming (and for the sake of this post, please put aside your skepticism, and assume I am right, in fact, that might just be a good idea anytime you are reading anything around here) is not good for all of the animals.  It certainly hasn't done the polar bears, or Emperor Penguins any favors.  But, Jellyfish are really thriving.  Warmer waters, and rising oceans are like a luxury condo for jelly fish.

If you don't know much about jelly fish you are very lucky.  Many of them are toxic, terrible harbingers of doom.  Box jellyfish are kind of square (which in not really natural for an animal to begin with) and among the most venomous creatures in the world.  Box Jellyfish venom is a neurotoxin, attacking nervous system, which is an important part of living.  This can cause heart attacks, organ failure, and death.  It also may have a necrotic effect, causing the death of skin cells, and scarring.  Which is pretty mild compared to death.  It is the deadliest creature in the ocean, according to the Box Jellyfish kills  fifteen to thirty times more people than the Great White Shark.

Thanks to global warming Jellyfish are reproducing faster, living longer and growing larger, and stinging more.  Of all the ingrateful, deceitful, seditious acts, it is difficult to imagine a less appropriate response to such a caring act, coincidental though it was.  

When you couple the increased size of the Jellyfish population, not to mention the increased size of the individual Jellyfish, rising oceans and submerged beaches it spells big trouble.  Imagine the day when coastal communities deal with artificially inflated restaurant food prices, streets crowded with tourists, humidity, and toxic, aggressive, almost invisible creatures with dozens of tentacles, each equipped with hundreds of venom delivery hypodermic syringes.  Well, maybe you shouldn't imagine that, it is not an appealing thought.  

This might be an excellent time to plan that vacation to Central Ohio.  We are here to make sure you have a good time.  We have a wonderful Zoo, with a very small, passive aquarium, a thriving entertainment district, and a professional hockey team.  Plus we are home to few venomous species of any kind, we did try to attract the Political Conventions of both parties, but fortunately they said no.  So, we are almost politician free as well.